The words below were spoken back on September 13, 1980 by Charles Malik who gave an address called "The Two Tasks" at the opening of the Billy Graham Center at Wheaton College. He was the Lebanese Ambassador to the United States. I have not read a more beautiful exposition of how I too have come to love Jesus and find my life worthless without His love and His pursuit of me. This is what I would tell you if you ask me how and what it is to follow Christ; our Saviour.
I speak to you as a Christian. Jesus Christ is my Lord and God and Savior and Song day and night. I can live without food, without drink, without sleep, without air, but I cannot live without Jesus. Without him I would have perished long ago. Without him and his church reconciling men to God, the world would have perished long ago. I live in and on the Bible for long hours every day. The Bible is the source of every good thought and impulse I have. In the Bible God himself, the Creator of everything from nothing, speaks to me and to the world directly, about himself, about ourselves, and about his will for the course of events and for the consummation of history. And believe me, not a day passes without my crying from the bottom of my heart, ‘Come, Lord Jesus.'
I am a dead and lifeless man without you Jesus. The joy you have set in my heart is beyond the words I can express in words or in speech. I only hope you can see it my smile, in the way I treat you and others. I am devastated that He gave me the ears and heart to hear His call. Amen
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Are you giving life?
If I had to boil down one central idea to give to my friends it is this message that in each of us lies a love question we all need answered. Consider this in your heart do you give life to your wife/husband and/or significant other?
“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
God made Adam first and put him in the Garden with a job to do, a mission to fulfill. In the heart of every fallen man is the self-doubt that wonders, “Am I man enough to climb this mountain God has called me to? Can I fulfill my destiny?” A wise wife will understand that question at the center of her husband’s heart. And she will spend her life answering it, communicating to him in various ways, “Honey, I believe in your call. I know you can do this, by God’s power. Go for it.” In this way, she will breathe life into her man.
God made Eve from Adam, for Adam, to help him follow the call. In the heart of every fallen woman is the self-doubt that wonders, “Do I please you? Am I what you wanted?” A wise husband will understand that question at the center of his wife’s heart. And he will spend his life answering it, communicating to her in various ways, “Darling, you are the one I need. I cherish you. Let me hold you close.” In this way, he will breathe life into his wife.
By Pastor Dr.Ray Orlund
I hope you spend the rest of your time breathing life into your Eve/Adam by answering their question.
“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
God made Adam first and put him in the Garden with a job to do, a mission to fulfill. In the heart of every fallen man is the self-doubt that wonders, “Am I man enough to climb this mountain God has called me to? Can I fulfill my destiny?” A wise wife will understand that question at the center of her husband’s heart. And she will spend her life answering it, communicating to him in various ways, “Honey, I believe in your call. I know you can do this, by God’s power. Go for it.” In this way, she will breathe life into her man.
God made Eve from Adam, for Adam, to help him follow the call. In the heart of every fallen woman is the self-doubt that wonders, “Do I please you? Am I what you wanted?” A wise husband will understand that question at the center of his wife’s heart. And he will spend his life answering it, communicating to her in various ways, “Darling, you are the one I need. I cherish you. Let me hold you close.” In this way, he will breathe life into his wife.
By Pastor Dr.Ray Orlund
I hope you spend the rest of your time breathing life into your Eve/Adam by answering their question.
Monday, March 08, 2010
The wounds we deliver - Parenthood
The words of Henri Nouwen, a Jesuit Priest remind me today of words that I have spoken often to my fellow parents that our kids are strangers in our house. We have been given these children to help them find God’s purpose for their lives. What I want to call your attention to is the wounds we give our children that we might not realize we inflict upon them. My own experience is that the greatest wound we can give to our kids is to treat them as our property. When we treat them as if we own them, it brings out own insecurity and lack of faith that God will work out their lives without our control and manipulation. The foundation/covenant of God’s love and therefore ours too is to love. Foundational to love is freedom; a freedom to make decisions as to what is right(towards God’s will) or wrong(away from God’s will). Controlling our kids breeds great anxiety in them by fostering a fear if they do make their own decision and it results in a failure that we might not love them or judge them; judgment is a withdrawal of love.
I have seen and experienced firsthand the lifelong damage that controlling parents have had on their grown children. The results of this judgment and control breed insecure adults who are unable to deal with how hard life is, so they turn to coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs, materialism, and sex. These coping mechanisms let them feel good temporarily and in the end due to the guilt of the cover up sins, it compounds the original defeating issue resulting in furthering to decrease their self esteem(worth less to God or anyone feeling). Insecurity is really a lack of feeling loved and when we are not loved the burn of loneliness creeps in. A wise psychologist said that these life forces rule our every decision in life; fear of abandonment, need for autonomy, and the need to be connected. Funny thing is this sounds like the basis of love and it came from a non-Christian therapist.
I know and have been guilty of trying to control my kid’s by telling them what do and think in hopes they will not make a mistake. We as parents need to realize our mistakes made us who we are today. Most of you I know well enough to somewhat understand your wounds. It is the healing of those wounds that has made each of us into beautiful works of God and why I enjoy and learn from each of you. God literally broke/killed His only Son in order to give us life. So, I plead with each one of you today to let your kids make mistakes and not control them, so they too can know Jesus and understand that we like Him, love them no matter what they do. My job is to share my experiences with my kids and to create a safe loving environment by which if they do fail/fall that they can come to me and God for comfort and further guidance. If we take the vantage point of controlling them, they will seek someone other than us or God to bear their mistake which is usually not a good thing.
Don’t take my word look at your friends who had controlling judgmental parents. I will bet most of them have issues that are apparent. Take a minute to read the excerpt below. I know you will and especially your kids be blessed by Henri’s wisdom.
The Great Gift of Parenthood
Children are their parents' guests. They come into the space that has been created for them, stay for a while - fifteen, twenty, or twenty-five years - and leave again to create their own space. Although parents speak about "our son" and "our daughter," their children are not their property. In many ways children are strangers. Parents have to come to know them, discover their strengths and their weaknesses, and guide them to maturity, allowing them to make their own decisions.The greatest gift parents can give their children is their love for each other. Through that love they create an anxiety-free place for their children to grow, encouraging them to develop confidence in themselves and find the freedom to choose their own ways in life.
These reflections are taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey.
I have seen and experienced firsthand the lifelong damage that controlling parents have had on their grown children. The results of this judgment and control breed insecure adults who are unable to deal with how hard life is, so they turn to coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs, materialism, and sex. These coping mechanisms let them feel good temporarily and in the end due to the guilt of the cover up sins, it compounds the original defeating issue resulting in furthering to decrease their self esteem(worth less to God or anyone feeling). Insecurity is really a lack of feeling loved and when we are not loved the burn of loneliness creeps in. A wise psychologist said that these life forces rule our every decision in life; fear of abandonment, need for autonomy, and the need to be connected. Funny thing is this sounds like the basis of love and it came from a non-Christian therapist.
I know and have been guilty of trying to control my kid’s by telling them what do and think in hopes they will not make a mistake. We as parents need to realize our mistakes made us who we are today. Most of you I know well enough to somewhat understand your wounds. It is the healing of those wounds that has made each of us into beautiful works of God and why I enjoy and learn from each of you. God literally broke/killed His only Son in order to give us life. So, I plead with each one of you today to let your kids make mistakes and not control them, so they too can know Jesus and understand that we like Him, love them no matter what they do. My job is to share my experiences with my kids and to create a safe loving environment by which if they do fail/fall that they can come to me and God for comfort and further guidance. If we take the vantage point of controlling them, they will seek someone other than us or God to bear their mistake which is usually not a good thing.
Don’t take my word look at your friends who had controlling judgmental parents. I will bet most of them have issues that are apparent. Take a minute to read the excerpt below. I know you will and especially your kids be blessed by Henri’s wisdom.
The Great Gift of Parenthood
Children are their parents' guests. They come into the space that has been created for them, stay for a while - fifteen, twenty, or twenty-five years - and leave again to create their own space. Although parents speak about "our son" and "our daughter," their children are not their property. In many ways children are strangers. Parents have to come to know them, discover their strengths and their weaknesses, and guide them to maturity, allowing them to make their own decisions.The greatest gift parents can give their children is their love for each other. Through that love they create an anxiety-free place for their children to grow, encouraging them to develop confidence in themselves and find the freedom to choose their own ways in life.
These reflections are taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey.
Friday, March 05, 2010
Marriage; Contract or Covenant?
Marriage is not a “contract” it is a “covenant”. Contracts are terms “if you fulfill your part, I will fulfill mine.” Covenant is "I will love you with an everlasting love. I will be faithful to you, even when you run away from me, reject me, or betray me." I divorced because my heart was harden in thinking I was in a contract.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Christianity is:
I think we each should ponder William Wilberforce’s quotes below at to what Christianity is about especially his third statement. William was especially jealous to keep clear the right relationship between good works and justification.
Wilberforce said, "Christianity is:
1. a scheme "for justifying the ungodly" [Romans 4:5], by Christ's dying for them "when yet sinners" [Romans 5:6-8],
2. a scheme "for reconciling us to God"—when enemies [Romans 5:10];
3. and for making the fruits of holiness the effects, not the cause, of our being justified and reconciled."
Justification is the doctrine that God pardons, accepts, and declares a sinner to be "just" on the basis of Christ's righteousness (Rom 3:24-26; 4:25; 5:15-21) which results in God's peace (Rom 5:1), His Spirit (Rom 8:4), and salvation. Justification is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ apart from all works and merit of the sinner. Wikipedia
Holiness defined as being or the process of being separated unto God.
Or maybe I can put this into my own words that Christianity is bearing fruit(expressing inward and outward joy in loving Jesus) by letting(given up control) Jesus bare our sins(those things that we do/did not Glorify the Father) that through His gift (no anything we gave/give) of Grace which is a call that we hear in our hearts. The result shows the world around us we love Him. When you truly love someone or something it cannot be helped from being noticed. It is why telling someone you love them doesn’t work as well as the action of loving someone with a hug, kiss, a look and/or just being satisfied or well pleased pleased with them. A good example is that when I am most satisfied in Dean a huge smile comes across his face. This is how God must feel when we are satisfied in His Son.
God is most glorified, when we are most joyful in Him. So our life's purpose is to find JOY in knowing Jesus; He takes care of the rest(fruits).
Wilberforce said, "Christianity is:
1. a scheme "for justifying the ungodly" [Romans 4:5], by Christ's dying for them "when yet sinners" [Romans 5:6-8],
2. a scheme "for reconciling us to God"—when enemies [Romans 5:10];
3. and for making the fruits of holiness the effects, not the cause, of our being justified and reconciled."
Justification is the doctrine that God pardons, accepts, and declares a sinner to be "just" on the basis of Christ's righteousness (Rom 3:24-26; 4:25; 5:15-21) which results in God's peace (Rom 5:1), His Spirit (Rom 8:4), and salvation. Justification is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ apart from all works and merit of the sinner. Wikipedia
Holiness defined as being or the process of being separated unto God.
Or maybe I can put this into my own words that Christianity is bearing fruit(expressing inward and outward joy in loving Jesus) by letting(given up control) Jesus bare our sins(those things that we do/did not Glorify the Father) that through His gift (no anything we gave/give) of Grace which is a call that we hear in our hearts. The result shows the world around us we love Him. When you truly love someone or something it cannot be helped from being noticed. It is why telling someone you love them doesn’t work as well as the action of loving someone with a hug, kiss, a look and/or just being satisfied or well pleased pleased with them. A good example is that when I am most satisfied in Dean a huge smile comes across his face. This is how God must feel when we are satisfied in His Son.
God is most glorified, when we are most joyful in Him. So our life's purpose is to find JOY in knowing Jesus; He takes care of the rest(fruits).
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
The Cup of Loneliness
Today Lord you have burdened my heart and mind to grapple with the misunderstood theme of loneliness; our inescapable call to solitude. This call to solitude is best described by Moses in the account of Adam in the creation story, when Adam realized he was different from all the animals of the world (Genesis 2:20). Adam realized his uniqueness made him feel intensely alone. However, God knew Adam and understood his loneliness and deemed it was not good for Adam to feel this way (quote). Adam needed a helper (Genesis 2:18). This Helper He called Eve. The New King James Bible describes Eve’s role as a “help meet”. I understand this to say, a woman is made to “help man meet” God. Eve is God’s crowning of His creation; the last activity God did before He rested on the seventh day. God designed her to reveal the glory and power of His creation; in her strengths, beauty, and most important ability to bare His children. Eve in her greatest relationship capacities beckons Adam to be in relationship with creation and God. Eve’s image reflects God’s heart; creative, beautiful, graceful, and nurturing. It is God’s love for us that is best shown in the power of a connected, innocence, open hearted woman. This Godly woman is rightly defined in Proverbs 31:10-31. She completes God’s triune Love; man, woman, and God all in one relationship. This triune relationship entirely glorifies God when He is the focus of a man and a woman coming together. God did not intend for us to remove Him from equation. God gives us this relationship as a tangible, earthly, experiential gift for us to use while in our temporary physical lives. Yes, we will only need marriage while here on earth, that in heaven we will not need marriage (Matthew 22:30).
The story of Adam and Eve in the garden shows us how our original parents took upon themselves to remove God from this Tri-union. They thought they only needed each other as a way to escape their loneliness. What they soon learned is their union could only temporarily and partially suppress the loneliness. Marriage is not in itself a true escape from loneliness. It is easy to see how the two-in-one union that was so powerful in the early days of the relationship soon fades and loneliness again sets in to stay until one acts in defiance, in order to break the grip of loneliness. This gets filled in many ways but mostly by self activities or busyness.
This feeling of loneliness is a result of our lack of understanding that God made us to be in a relationship with Him, whether we are married or single. All of us are made unique for God's purposes; this uniqueness gives us each a feeling of aloneness and separateness. He made us to be separated to Him and by this we cannot truly experience true joy unless we stay separated to Him. Most single people find it easier staying separated to God, but for most of us He calls us to marriage. Marriage does not replace being separated to God but calls the union of the man and one in a one flesh covenant to make Him a part of this union. God loves to work in threes as in the Trinity; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Marriage covenant is not to make us happy, but to make us "holy" by which I mean it give us a better understanding who God is. We must make God the focal point in our marriages, if we expect them to prosper, let alone survive. The greatest expression of this union is when a man and woman unite in sexual intimacy. This joining of the flesh restores our unity even if it only lasts for a few minutes it still has a strong capacity to quenches our loneliness. Sex when done rightly, is a Glorification of God’s covenant of marriage, thus glorifying the perfection of His original design of sex. Sex does such a phenomenal job at satisfying loneliness. It is easy to how our culture has perverted sex's power. However, this is not the goal of sex but a bi-product of the temporary union. Sex in triune fashion creates and deepens the male, female bond for life.
Let me end these thoughts with what I intended to chase down today in the first place. We all yearn for communion with someone or something greater than ourselves. We are all so desperate to be in communion that we try to fill it with anything we can. There are thousands of things we do in this life to try to remove this feeling of which keeping busy and numb top the list. I will submit a solution, one that will be exceedingly contrary our intellect; that we need to befriend and embrace the pain of our loneliness. As we embrace this pain, it begins to point us back to God as our one true source of life; the one who gave us our hearts. Can you imagine the loneliness that Jesus felt going to the cross? No, but He did it out of the will of His Father and His atoning sacrifice for us; the elect, who chose to believe. Can you fathom what it would be like be on death row just hours to your death? As we approach our death, the unknown of what lies for us on the other side, knowing we cannot take anything with that gave us comfort in the material world or can we take anyone with us. It is this ultimate loneliness where God showed us how much He loves us by killing His one and only Son. The pain of loneliness in this world gives us an opportunity to believe in Jesus; promise to give us life especially when we feel like we are dying in our loneliness. In the end God can only satisfy our loneliness, whether single or married.
My hope is you drink this cup of pain as Jesus did knowing that as your drink of Him. He will restore your heart; a good heart, a new heart, a heart for relationship that includes Him. This loneliness we all have in common, every one of us. It is a place we all understand. It is a place to meet and give your gift to the world. Be lonely my friends; drink as much as you can in those times. It will strengthen you and provide you a passionate heart to love.
The story of Adam and Eve in the garden shows us how our original parents took upon themselves to remove God from this Tri-union. They thought they only needed each other as a way to escape their loneliness. What they soon learned is their union could only temporarily and partially suppress the loneliness. Marriage is not in itself a true escape from loneliness. It is easy to see how the two-in-one union that was so powerful in the early days of the relationship soon fades and loneliness again sets in to stay until one acts in defiance, in order to break the grip of loneliness. This gets filled in many ways but mostly by self activities or busyness.
This feeling of loneliness is a result of our lack of understanding that God made us to be in a relationship with Him, whether we are married or single. All of us are made unique for God's purposes; this uniqueness gives us each a feeling of aloneness and separateness. He made us to be separated to Him and by this we cannot truly experience true joy unless we stay separated to Him. Most single people find it easier staying separated to God, but for most of us He calls us to marriage. Marriage does not replace being separated to God but calls the union of the man and one in a one flesh covenant to make Him a part of this union. God loves to work in threes as in the Trinity; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Marriage covenant is not to make us happy, but to make us "holy" by which I mean it give us a better understanding who God is. We must make God the focal point in our marriages, if we expect them to prosper, let alone survive. The greatest expression of this union is when a man and woman unite in sexual intimacy. This joining of the flesh restores our unity even if it only lasts for a few minutes it still has a strong capacity to quenches our loneliness. Sex when done rightly, is a Glorification of God’s covenant of marriage, thus glorifying the perfection of His original design of sex. Sex does such a phenomenal job at satisfying loneliness. It is easy to how our culture has perverted sex's power. However, this is not the goal of sex but a bi-product of the temporary union. Sex in triune fashion creates and deepens the male, female bond for life.
Let me end these thoughts with what I intended to chase down today in the first place. We all yearn for communion with someone or something greater than ourselves. We are all so desperate to be in communion that we try to fill it with anything we can. There are thousands of things we do in this life to try to remove this feeling of which keeping busy and numb top the list. I will submit a solution, one that will be exceedingly contrary our intellect; that we need to befriend and embrace the pain of our loneliness. As we embrace this pain, it begins to point us back to God as our one true source of life; the one who gave us our hearts. Can you imagine the loneliness that Jesus felt going to the cross? No, but He did it out of the will of His Father and His atoning sacrifice for us; the elect, who chose to believe. Can you fathom what it would be like be on death row just hours to your death? As we approach our death, the unknown of what lies for us on the other side, knowing we cannot take anything with that gave us comfort in the material world or can we take anyone with us. It is this ultimate loneliness where God showed us how much He loves us by killing His one and only Son. The pain of loneliness in this world gives us an opportunity to believe in Jesus; promise to give us life especially when we feel like we are dying in our loneliness. In the end God can only satisfy our loneliness, whether single or married.
My hope is you drink this cup of pain as Jesus did knowing that as your drink of Him. He will restore your heart; a good heart, a new heart, a heart for relationship that includes Him. This loneliness we all have in common, every one of us. It is a place we all understand. It is a place to meet and give your gift to the world. Be lonely my friends; drink as much as you can in those times. It will strengthen you and provide you a passionate heart to love.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
There’s got to be more to life than this!
Angst: strong worry and unhappiness, especially about personal problems (Cambridge Dictionary)
I have noticed a common sense of “angst” that cuts across almost all of us. There is a sense that life is not what we thought it would be like. There seems to be an undercurrent, especially in those rare times when we truly quiet our minds and assess the status of our hearts. We check in on our hearts and it whispers to us that familiar notion, “I was made for more than I am living; Am I not a king or princess?” We wonder where our life went astray. This sense we are not living out our true purpose. Ask anyone this question and I will bet a “yes” or a blank look as their mind quickly assess if honesty is the best response to keep their facade of “life is good” going.
This noticing of ourselves I believe is a nudge from God who made us in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27). God’s image is not shown in our failures or shortcomings. For He created each one of us that we might live a life that glorifies Him (1 Corinthians 10:31)(Isaiah 43:6-7). If God is love (1 John 4:18) and we are His image bearers then our true selves must reflect His love. Love is patience, kind, doesn’t envy, never boastful or conceited, nor rude and never selfish (1 Corinthians 13:4). These are expressed in our compassion, friendship, truthfulness, intimacy, and giving up ourselves for the benefit of others which in turn glorifies God. These actions reflect His nature and our natural self before the Fall of our parents; Adam and Eve.
However, our image is marred by evil. Evil is the thoughts and actions which take us away from glorifying God. The evil has taken hold in each of our hearts because we, like our original parents chose to rely on our own abilities and not of our creator who made us for His purpose. This going away from God’s purpose is the definition of being a sinner. We are totally depraved in the presence of God (Romans 3:9-18) and not worthy of His grace, which He gives to us freely out of no act on our behalf (Genesis 6:5). Yes, I said trying to be good is not what our salvation and our predestined royalty is about. All sin has its roots, very simply, in lying to ourselves, others, and God. This, my friends, is what is keeping us individually and collectively in “angst”. We are constantly fed a stream of lies by evil, the ruler of earth and our culture (Matthew 4:7-10). Evil whispers in our ears that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy of anything that is good. This pervasive doubt is why we don’t believe in heaven, for evil has convinced us that there is no such place. So out of this lie and doubt/unbelief, we try to be our own god (little “g”) and create heaven on earth.
We do a pretty good job at creating this false heaven; the heaven on earth I call the “American Dream”. We wall ourselves off to anything that is not comfortable or easy. We worship earthly success over Godliness, for we have become creators and controllers of our own destiny. Any of us who have lived long enough or have been broken realize that we have no control over our existence, life just happens to us. We are so mired in the busyness and mess of our lives we cannot step back and understand the larger story of our lives. It takes being broken to understand, we control nothing. It is the greatest lie the enemy to life tell us; that we can control our lives. We erect these walls out of fear of losing control, for if someone else is truly driving, where will He take us? He may just take us out of our comfort zone.
Most of daily existence is lived in this fear that is outside our walls. These are specially built walls which we think protects us. These visible and invisible walls are constructed in our minds by our beliefs in materialism and consumerism, and is re-enforced by bad behavior modification/suppression (religion) and painted by a pretty coat of numbness. In order to keep our walls up, we must oppress the rest of the planet by hording its resources. Once in a while we peak over the walls and see a broken world that we know needs our help! We look at the wall and tell ourselves “it’s too high, I can’t go over there it’s not safe, and/or I really can’t make a difference in what’s going on over there.” This “looking over the wall” adds to our angst and fear.
I have learned that behavior modification or better put using our own will to try to suppress our evil sinful ways, will only last for short stints, and then our wickedness returns shortly, followed by the guilt of having regressed and failed. This guilty knowing reveals itself in our angst. This behavior modification/suppression is what Religion teaches us and is why most of us at some point left the church and God to get away from the burden of guilt. Jesus spoke of this burden that the religion lays upon their congregations (Matthew 23:1-4) describes why so many don’t want to go to church.
The root of the problem is that culture/evil tells us to love ourselves MORE at the cost of others. This is not the commandment Jesus tells us to live by. He commands us to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves equally (Luke 10:26–28). Jesus commands us to love. Commandments are calls to action, something we do. Therefore, it is not a warm fuzzy feeling He asks us to find in ourselves, but a call to action. Maybe the way out of the guilt and the way to truly live is to look at the root of the problem and that is, who and how should we be loving? We all know the prevailing wisdom set forth by almost all the self help authors. They tell us to love ourselves and to strive for improving ourselves over the call to improve/help others. The message is “get what you want in life by taking it.” Looking at any magazine stand will give anyone a great snap shot on what dozens of so called experts want to tell you and I how to improve ourselves, thus resulting in a more joyful life. If this knowledge of self improvement is so easy, so accessible, and widely read/heard, shouldn’t it be self-evident that our culture is continuing to grow happier and happier, thus each generation is more joyful than the last? I don’t think the state of the world and the American family point to any such reasoning or that the success of these messages is having on us.
In my late teens and twenties, I too fell victim to these self-help shamans, who peddled these false ways. They spoke of prosperity and those things that come with it; fame, fortune, contentment, and safety. I drank the Kool Aide and became drunk on its promises. At some point in my thirties, I had attained everything they spoke of. I had won, or at least I thought. But deep inside there was this gaping hole of discontentment and angst. I tried to ignore it. I did a really good job of keeping my life busy and numb mostly by buying man toys and searching for the next river or outdoor adventure or business to conquer. The walls were doing a good job of keeping me from being able to see myself for what I was made to be. Then God made His will for me evident. He began to break those walls down around me. He took away my prosperity and what He revealed was a man who wanted to love and be loved (John 1:12-13). I began to feel and to have emotions. I now see people not for what they can do for me, but how can I know them and love them with my gifts (John 3:3). My heart and eyes opened to a whole new reality, like going from black/white TV to HDTV. This new way of seeing/feeling life is now filled with a whole range of experiences, from seeing pure evil, pain, suffering, brokenness to joy in finding love and seeing my son smile when he senses my approval, seeing brokenness restored, and all the while watching how God works out His will in others. It is a wild ride my friends. Nothing like I thought life would be like, but at times a sense of content rolls over me. Not often enough but the angst is still there!
I now know the angst feeling is God telling me that He has much more for me beyond this earthly life. He wants me to take my talents and my prosperity and give to those who have been disadvantage by geography, society, government, and economics. I will use this angst, not spur myself onto acquiring more things or in the pursuit if self actualization, but as God’s prodding me to take the gifts and wealth He has entrusted me with and spread it to those that are in need. It also pushes me to tell my story so that others can identify their angst and the hole in their hearts, in hopes they may too find a life worth living in high definition.
We are not alone in this angst and we are not without a guide, a Sheppard (John 10:10-11). Angst connects us all to God’s promise and His will. We just have to love Him and others by taking up our cross (Mark 8:34) and following Jesus for He came to show us the way. By loving others, our action(commandment) of love changes other’s lives for the better and not by sheer coincidence it give us Life and stores rewards for us in Heaven for eternity. Jesus said "for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:36-36)
May your angst nudge you back towards becoming the man/woman God designed you to be. My hope is you realize, that you are not in control, and that you were made for more. When angst arises it is the holy spirit, your intuition; a helper that Jesus put in the hearts of us all, which guides us to reclaim our true image (John 14:16-18). The answer is contained in our hearts, and by having faith, you and I will work out our way to God by following Jesus and not the ways of culture. Your heart is good. Let others see it. It contains your true image. This journey of the heart will hurt for their will be much suffering in giving up ourselves. Life/Salvation does not come cheaply. Live in angst, but do not ignore it.
I love you all more than you know.
I have noticed a common sense of “angst” that cuts across almost all of us. There is a sense that life is not what we thought it would be like. There seems to be an undercurrent, especially in those rare times when we truly quiet our minds and assess the status of our hearts. We check in on our hearts and it whispers to us that familiar notion, “I was made for more than I am living; Am I not a king or princess?” We wonder where our life went astray. This sense we are not living out our true purpose. Ask anyone this question and I will bet a “yes” or a blank look as their mind quickly assess if honesty is the best response to keep their facade of “life is good” going.
This noticing of ourselves I believe is a nudge from God who made us in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27). God’s image is not shown in our failures or shortcomings. For He created each one of us that we might live a life that glorifies Him (1 Corinthians 10:31)(Isaiah 43:6-7). If God is love (1 John 4:18) and we are His image bearers then our true selves must reflect His love. Love is patience, kind, doesn’t envy, never boastful or conceited, nor rude and never selfish (1 Corinthians 13:4). These are expressed in our compassion, friendship, truthfulness, intimacy, and giving up ourselves for the benefit of others which in turn glorifies God. These actions reflect His nature and our natural self before the Fall of our parents; Adam and Eve.
However, our image is marred by evil. Evil is the thoughts and actions which take us away from glorifying God. The evil has taken hold in each of our hearts because we, like our original parents chose to rely on our own abilities and not of our creator who made us for His purpose. This going away from God’s purpose is the definition of being a sinner. We are totally depraved in the presence of God (Romans 3:9-18) and not worthy of His grace, which He gives to us freely out of no act on our behalf (Genesis 6:5). Yes, I said trying to be good is not what our salvation and our predestined royalty is about. All sin has its roots, very simply, in lying to ourselves, others, and God. This, my friends, is what is keeping us individually and collectively in “angst”. We are constantly fed a stream of lies by evil, the ruler of earth and our culture (Matthew 4:7-10). Evil whispers in our ears that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy of anything that is good. This pervasive doubt is why we don’t believe in heaven, for evil has convinced us that there is no such place. So out of this lie and doubt/unbelief, we try to be our own god (little “g”) and create heaven on earth.
We do a pretty good job at creating this false heaven; the heaven on earth I call the “American Dream”. We wall ourselves off to anything that is not comfortable or easy. We worship earthly success over Godliness, for we have become creators and controllers of our own destiny. Any of us who have lived long enough or have been broken realize that we have no control over our existence, life just happens to us. We are so mired in the busyness and mess of our lives we cannot step back and understand the larger story of our lives. It takes being broken to understand, we control nothing. It is the greatest lie the enemy to life tell us; that we can control our lives. We erect these walls out of fear of losing control, for if someone else is truly driving, where will He take us? He may just take us out of our comfort zone.
Most of daily existence is lived in this fear that is outside our walls. These are specially built walls which we think protects us. These visible and invisible walls are constructed in our minds by our beliefs in materialism and consumerism, and is re-enforced by bad behavior modification/suppression (religion) and painted by a pretty coat of numbness. In order to keep our walls up, we must oppress the rest of the planet by hording its resources. Once in a while we peak over the walls and see a broken world that we know needs our help! We look at the wall and tell ourselves “it’s too high, I can’t go over there it’s not safe, and/or I really can’t make a difference in what’s going on over there.” This “looking over the wall” adds to our angst and fear.
I have learned that behavior modification or better put using our own will to try to suppress our evil sinful ways, will only last for short stints, and then our wickedness returns shortly, followed by the guilt of having regressed and failed. This guilty knowing reveals itself in our angst. This behavior modification/suppression is what Religion teaches us and is why most of us at some point left the church and God to get away from the burden of guilt. Jesus spoke of this burden that the religion lays upon their congregations (Matthew 23:1-4) describes why so many don’t want to go to church.
The root of the problem is that culture/evil tells us to love ourselves MORE at the cost of others. This is not the commandment Jesus tells us to live by. He commands us to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves equally (Luke 10:26–28). Jesus commands us to love. Commandments are calls to action, something we do. Therefore, it is not a warm fuzzy feeling He asks us to find in ourselves, but a call to action. Maybe the way out of the guilt and the way to truly live is to look at the root of the problem and that is, who and how should we be loving? We all know the prevailing wisdom set forth by almost all the self help authors. They tell us to love ourselves and to strive for improving ourselves over the call to improve/help others. The message is “get what you want in life by taking it.” Looking at any magazine stand will give anyone a great snap shot on what dozens of so called experts want to tell you and I how to improve ourselves, thus resulting in a more joyful life. If this knowledge of self improvement is so easy, so accessible, and widely read/heard, shouldn’t it be self-evident that our culture is continuing to grow happier and happier, thus each generation is more joyful than the last? I don’t think the state of the world and the American family point to any such reasoning or that the success of these messages is having on us.
In my late teens and twenties, I too fell victim to these self-help shamans, who peddled these false ways. They spoke of prosperity and those things that come with it; fame, fortune, contentment, and safety. I drank the Kool Aide and became drunk on its promises. At some point in my thirties, I had attained everything they spoke of. I had won, or at least I thought. But deep inside there was this gaping hole of discontentment and angst. I tried to ignore it. I did a really good job of keeping my life busy and numb mostly by buying man toys and searching for the next river or outdoor adventure or business to conquer. The walls were doing a good job of keeping me from being able to see myself for what I was made to be. Then God made His will for me evident. He began to break those walls down around me. He took away my prosperity and what He revealed was a man who wanted to love and be loved (John 1:12-13). I began to feel and to have emotions. I now see people not for what they can do for me, but how can I know them and love them with my gifts (John 3:3). My heart and eyes opened to a whole new reality, like going from black/white TV to HDTV. This new way of seeing/feeling life is now filled with a whole range of experiences, from seeing pure evil, pain, suffering, brokenness to joy in finding love and seeing my son smile when he senses my approval, seeing brokenness restored, and all the while watching how God works out His will in others. It is a wild ride my friends. Nothing like I thought life would be like, but at times a sense of content rolls over me. Not often enough but the angst is still there!
I now know the angst feeling is God telling me that He has much more for me beyond this earthly life. He wants me to take my talents and my prosperity and give to those who have been disadvantage by geography, society, government, and economics. I will use this angst, not spur myself onto acquiring more things or in the pursuit if self actualization, but as God’s prodding me to take the gifts and wealth He has entrusted me with and spread it to those that are in need. It also pushes me to tell my story so that others can identify their angst and the hole in their hearts, in hopes they may too find a life worth living in high definition.
We are not alone in this angst and we are not without a guide, a Sheppard (John 10:10-11). Angst connects us all to God’s promise and His will. We just have to love Him and others by taking up our cross (Mark 8:34) and following Jesus for He came to show us the way. By loving others, our action(commandment) of love changes other’s lives for the better and not by sheer coincidence it give us Life and stores rewards for us in Heaven for eternity. Jesus said "for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:36-36)
May your angst nudge you back towards becoming the man/woman God designed you to be. My hope is you realize, that you are not in control, and that you were made for more. When angst arises it is the holy spirit, your intuition; a helper that Jesus put in the hearts of us all, which guides us to reclaim our true image (John 14:16-18). The answer is contained in our hearts, and by having faith, you and I will work out our way to God by following Jesus and not the ways of culture. Your heart is good. Let others see it. It contains your true image. This journey of the heart will hurt for their will be much suffering in giving up ourselves. Life/Salvation does not come cheaply. Live in angst, but do not ignore it.
I love you all more than you know.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Finding a Woman; Our Missing Rib
To My Son Dean –
If I only knew these things when I was young it would of saved me great heartache and loneliness. It is these words from God’s I share with you so that one day you and I may truly find a good Godly woman. Takes these words to heart, I do. For God has promised the following woman to me. He has made you the same promise. Many will try to capture your goodness and your love for Jesus. Women will use their beauty and emotional power to win your heart but I implore you to seek God’s council in His Word. I am beside you and will guide you also the best I can. For our Eve awaits us and that is great news.
God as Mom writes: "Oh, son of mine, what can you be thinking of! Child whom I bore! The son I dedicated to God! Don't dissipate your virility on fortune-hunting women, promiscuous women who shipwreck leaders.
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.
Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
Proverbs 31 The Message (emphasis added)
In Service, Dad
If I only knew these things when I was young it would of saved me great heartache and loneliness. It is these words from God’s I share with you so that one day you and I may truly find a good Godly woman. Takes these words to heart, I do. For God has promised the following woman to me. He has made you the same promise. Many will try to capture your goodness and your love for Jesus. Women will use their beauty and emotional power to win your heart but I implore you to seek God’s council in His Word. I am beside you and will guide you also the best I can. For our Eve awaits us and that is great news.
God as Mom writes: "Oh, son of mine, what can you be thinking of! Child whom I bore! The son I dedicated to God! Don't dissipate your virility on fortune-hunting women, promiscuous women who shipwreck leaders.
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.
Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
Proverbs 31 The Message (emphasis added)
In Service, Dad
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