One day joy will visit again yet only for a short time and in joys departure I will come to know God more. If you find me numb and not passionate please wake me, share with me a struggle or wound so that I may return quickly to realizing Life needs/is pain. Without pain I cannot recognize or fully appreciate the fleeting moments of pure joy. I would rather be crying in pain and crying in joy then be in between.
Simone Weil was right; there are only two things that pierce the human heart: beauty and affliction.
Showing posts with label tears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tears. Show all posts
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, December 05, 2008
Pain
Why is there so much similarity in the pain of pure joy the one that brings us to tears and the pains of failure, losing a loved one, and those wounds of our heart that our closet loved one’s inflict. Love is at the foundation of this pain for our brokenness which is really our failures and loses that having led us away from God. However God uses these to change and move our hearts close to how God wants us to be. Joy is having found God’s Grace in the midst of this painful life for we were made for something greater and we know that deep within ourselves, we were made to be hero’s and lovers. Take a close look at the joy you experience I will bet it wasn’t about any material thing but about an experience where we found our true selves in loving someone else and/or loving ourselves not in an ego self centric way just that feeling I like who I am for that moment.
We find it difficult to love our closest friends and family because this is where we get most of our pain. However we still love them and it is this love contrast of joy and painful wounds that allows us to understand that love is so painful. Why do some of us strive for the middle ground that place of numbness where there are no highs or lows, no tears of joy, no wounds to be had? I would say most of us strive to cut out the bottoms the place where we are wounded. We avoid situations where there is risk of failure or rejection of our true self. But in reality those wounds and rejections just happen even those we avoid them at all cost. This cost is that numbness or middle ground. This is where we find ourselves most of our lives numb, busy and terribly unconnected to our hearts. If we slow down, get quiet and pear into our own hearts we discover the lack of Joy and there is so much pain in that because like I said above we were made for much more, we know it. We need to take the time ask God to give us the eyes and the ears to experience the real contrast of His Kingdom. For God’s is in all the pain. Blessed are those that get to experience the complete pain in the tears of joy and also see God’s redemption in the most painful failures and loses. God knows that if there was no pain that we would not notice Him. So he uses pain for our good. It’s the way he shapes us to His purpose. Pain is necessary and no one is able to avoid it in their lives.
Pain moves us to action. Yes sometimes it moves us to the middle ground but that is good. This is God’s way of protecting us from too much or better put he give us the middle ground as a release valve. He does not want us to stay there but soon after the pains and wounds we usually get a choice to experience joy and redemption this is God’s way of filling us up and making us whole. This where we say “God is Good”.
Let’s get back to Joy and why it hurts. Joy hurts because we know it is fleeting, so temporary for most of us that the middle ground feels like joy to us. Wounds are different those last. They lie under the surface and stay there sometimes for a life time. We bury them in the numbness because we have not let God have them. This numbness and burying is the work of the devil. He uses this as a form to keep us under his reign. This is one of the devil’s main strategies just to keep us numb and lifeless. He knows his kingdom will increase just by shear accumulation of wounds.
However, when we abide in God’s grace we have more opportunities for joy but make no mistake there will be plenty of pain. All pain forces us to change to let go of something for God’s purpose. He uses it to change our hearts. Jesus was very clear about this when he said “Take up your cross and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). What he meant was die to your ego self live for something else. This takes the pain off of us and gives to God. No longer do we bear all the burden of our pain. God is the pain. He wants us to experience with Him. Look for God in the Joy and the wounds. He is there!
We find it difficult to love our closest friends and family because this is where we get most of our pain. However we still love them and it is this love contrast of joy and painful wounds that allows us to understand that love is so painful. Why do some of us strive for the middle ground that place of numbness where there are no highs or lows, no tears of joy, no wounds to be had? I would say most of us strive to cut out the bottoms the place where we are wounded. We avoid situations where there is risk of failure or rejection of our true self. But in reality those wounds and rejections just happen even those we avoid them at all cost. This cost is that numbness or middle ground. This is where we find ourselves most of our lives numb, busy and terribly unconnected to our hearts. If we slow down, get quiet and pear into our own hearts we discover the lack of Joy and there is so much pain in that because like I said above we were made for much more, we know it. We need to take the time ask God to give us the eyes and the ears to experience the real contrast of His Kingdom. For God’s is in all the pain. Blessed are those that get to experience the complete pain in the tears of joy and also see God’s redemption in the most painful failures and loses. God knows that if there was no pain that we would not notice Him. So he uses pain for our good. It’s the way he shapes us to His purpose. Pain is necessary and no one is able to avoid it in their lives.
Pain moves us to action. Yes sometimes it moves us to the middle ground but that is good. This is God’s way of protecting us from too much or better put he give us the middle ground as a release valve. He does not want us to stay there but soon after the pains and wounds we usually get a choice to experience joy and redemption this is God’s way of filling us up and making us whole. This where we say “God is Good”.
Let’s get back to Joy and why it hurts. Joy hurts because we know it is fleeting, so temporary for most of us that the middle ground feels like joy to us. Wounds are different those last. They lie under the surface and stay there sometimes for a life time. We bury them in the numbness because we have not let God have them. This numbness and burying is the work of the devil. He uses this as a form to keep us under his reign. This is one of the devil’s main strategies just to keep us numb and lifeless. He knows his kingdom will increase just by shear accumulation of wounds.
However, when we abide in God’s grace we have more opportunities for joy but make no mistake there will be plenty of pain. All pain forces us to change to let go of something for God’s purpose. He uses it to change our hearts. Jesus was very clear about this when he said “Take up your cross and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). What he meant was die to your ego self live for something else. This takes the pain off of us and gives to God. No longer do we bear all the burden of our pain. God is the pain. He wants us to experience with Him. Look for God in the Joy and the wounds. He is there!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
A CHRISTmas Gift - the gift of Joy
In keeping with doing life differently I wanted to make CHRISTmas 2007 different not partake in the materialism of culture. This letter to my Grandmother should summarize how giving something from the heart is what Jesus wants us to do.
Dear Gram- 12-27-2007
A late merry CHRISTmas to you! The three DVDs you see in this package are pictures of our family taken over the past 40 years. I have scanned and organized over 2,000 photos dating back to the 1940’s. After having scanned all the paper photos to digital I then organized them loosely by decade. The next step was to put them into a format in which I could share them with anybody especially those who don’t have access to a computer. The DVD can be played on any DVD player that one has attached to their TV.
I wanted to also share with you the reason for making this project. It was about the Joy of the past. Photos are a great way to remember the GOOD in life, the joy of specials days like CHRISTmas, birthdays, births and family visits. It is our human nature to remember the bad parts of life; the tough days but we need something to remember the joy. I hope this brings tears of happiness to you as it did for me. It reminds of how blessed I am to have lived a life filled with great people such as you.
In making this project I wanted to show my kids the joys of my life as grew up. It is important that they see the people who shaped me. So as I show them these same movies they ask lots of questions and it is in those times I share with them the great and joyful memories of the past.
Lastly this project was about celebrating the birth of Jesus the way he would have wanted us to celebrate how his birth changed us all. I believe he wants us to share joy of his new covenanted; his new way of life and life that was so different then that of the Old Testament. Jesus showed us how to love everybody no matter what. In this season of CHRISTmas I celebrate in a new way, to give gifts to which tell them how much I love them. This means giving from the heart not the wallet. Its not about the material things its about gifts of love. To give something that means something or crafted by your heart means so much more than a shirt that goes out of style in a few years. A great example of this is the fisherman’s sweater you knitted and gave to me at CHRISTmas many years ago. I still wear it and it keeps my heart warm thinking about how great of gift and its memory of you and the time it took you to make it. Thank you!
In closing I am also sorry for not being present in your life. I promise to make in a priority to make it to Maine this summer with the kids so they may get to know you.
With great love I give this gift. May you remember the joy of time spent with us and the family you bore, a family that makes earth more like God’s intended kingdom.
Love, Michael
Here is a little 3 minute sample of the video I created using Microsoft PhotoStory 3.
Dear Gram- 12-27-2007
A late merry CHRISTmas to you! The three DVDs you see in this package are pictures of our family taken over the past 40 years. I have scanned and organized over 2,000 photos dating back to the 1940’s. After having scanned all the paper photos to digital I then organized them loosely by decade. The next step was to put them into a format in which I could share them with anybody especially those who don’t have access to a computer. The DVD can be played on any DVD player that one has attached to their TV.
I wanted to also share with you the reason for making this project. It was about the Joy of the past. Photos are a great way to remember the GOOD in life, the joy of specials days like CHRISTmas, birthdays, births and family visits. It is our human nature to remember the bad parts of life; the tough days but we need something to remember the joy. I hope this brings tears of happiness to you as it did for me. It reminds of how blessed I am to have lived a life filled with great people such as you.
In making this project I wanted to show my kids the joys of my life as grew up. It is important that they see the people who shaped me. So as I show them these same movies they ask lots of questions and it is in those times I share with them the great and joyful memories of the past.
Lastly this project was about celebrating the birth of Jesus the way he would have wanted us to celebrate how his birth changed us all. I believe he wants us to share joy of his new covenanted; his new way of life and life that was so different then that of the Old Testament. Jesus showed us how to love everybody no matter what. In this season of CHRISTmas I celebrate in a new way, to give gifts to which tell them how much I love them. This means giving from the heart not the wallet. Its not about the material things its about gifts of love. To give something that means something or crafted by your heart means so much more than a shirt that goes out of style in a few years. A great example of this is the fisherman’s sweater you knitted and gave to me at CHRISTmas many years ago. I still wear it and it keeps my heart warm thinking about how great of gift and its memory of you and the time it took you to make it. Thank you!
In closing I am also sorry for not being present in your life. I promise to make in a priority to make it to Maine this summer with the kids so they may get to know you.
With great love I give this gift. May you remember the joy of time spent with us and the family you bore, a family that makes earth more like God’s intended kingdom.
Love, Michael
Here is a little 3 minute sample of the video I created using Microsoft PhotoStory 3.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Sunday, Aug 26, 2007
Volunteered in the am for the Jackson County Triathlon and it was a good to see friends and make a new one, connect with a team mate, see pettiness, see families being there to support one another.
Afternoon Ride with a friend to just hang out in the outside! Still cannot believe the beauty of every ride.
Church: What an unbelievable place, the energy, the God thing just fills the tank up. The before and after effect on my kids is way too cool. If I could prove to you the power of God in a real life example, I would show you the joy and energy that comes out of them after Sunday school.
Evening: I recently got my family photos back from a friend that stored them during the divorce. I pulled out some pictures of my ex wife Julie and I on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Memories flooded in, raw pain of the failure of my marriage, shed a few tears. Trust me divorce hurts like you have no idea, But like any heart break, loss or tragedy there are gifts in it. More later.
Afternoon Ride with a friend to just hang out in the outside! Still cannot believe the beauty of every ride.
Church: What an unbelievable place, the energy, the God thing just fills the tank up. The before and after effect on my kids is way too cool. If I could prove to you the power of God in a real life example, I would show you the joy and energy that comes out of them after Sunday school.
Evening: I recently got my family photos back from a friend that stored them during the divorce. I pulled out some pictures of my ex wife Julie and I on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Memories flooded in, raw pain of the failure of my marriage, shed a few tears. Trust me divorce hurts like you have no idea, But like any heart break, loss or tragedy there are gifts in it. More later.
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