Today Lord you have burdened my heart and mind to grapple with the misunderstood theme of loneliness; our inescapable call to solitude. This call to solitude is best described by Moses in the account of Adam in the creation story, when Adam realized he was different from all the animals of the world (Genesis 2:20). Adam realized his uniqueness made him feel intensely alone. However, God knew Adam and understood his loneliness and deemed it was not good for Adam to feel this way (quote). Adam needed a helper (Genesis 2:18). This Helper He called Eve. The New King James Bible describes Eve’s role as a “help meet”. I understand this to say, a woman is made to “help man meet” God. Eve is God’s crowning of His creation; the last activity God did before He rested on the seventh day. God designed her to reveal the glory and power of His creation; in her strengths, beauty, and most important ability to bare His children. Eve in her greatest relationship capacities beckons Adam to be in relationship with creation and God. Eve’s image reflects God’s heart; creative, beautiful, graceful, and nurturing. It is God’s love for us that is best shown in the power of a connected, innocence, open hearted woman. This Godly woman is rightly defined in Proverbs 31:10-31. She completes God’s triune Love; man, woman, and God all in one relationship. This triune relationship entirely glorifies God when He is the focus of a man and a woman coming together. God did not intend for us to remove Him from equation. God gives us this relationship as a tangible, earthly, experiential gift for us to use while in our temporary physical lives. Yes, we will only need marriage while here on earth, that in heaven we will not need marriage (Matthew 22:30).
The story of Adam and Eve in the garden shows us how our original parents took upon themselves to remove God from this Tri-union. They thought they only needed each other as a way to escape their loneliness. What they soon learned is their union could only temporarily and partially suppress the loneliness. Marriage is not in itself a true escape from loneliness. It is easy to see how the two-in-one union that was so powerful in the early days of the relationship soon fades and loneliness again sets in to stay until one acts in defiance, in order to break the grip of loneliness. This gets filled in many ways but mostly by self activities or busyness.
This feeling of loneliness is a result of our lack of understanding that God made us to be in a relationship with Him, whether we are married or single. All of us are made unique for God's purposes; this uniqueness gives us each a feeling of aloneness and separateness. He made us to be separated to Him and by this we cannot truly experience true joy unless we stay separated to Him. Most single people find it easier staying separated to God, but for most of us He calls us to marriage. Marriage does not replace being separated to God but calls the union of the man and one in a one flesh covenant to make Him a part of this union. God loves to work in threes as in the Trinity; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Marriage covenant is not to make us happy, but to make us "holy" by which I mean it give us a better understanding who God is. We must make God the focal point in our marriages, if we expect them to prosper, let alone survive. The greatest expression of this union is when a man and woman unite in sexual intimacy. This joining of the flesh restores our unity even if it only lasts for a few minutes it still has a strong capacity to quenches our loneliness. Sex when done rightly, is a Glorification of God’s covenant of marriage, thus glorifying the perfection of His original design of sex. Sex does such a phenomenal job at satisfying loneliness. It is easy to how our culture has perverted sex's power. However, this is not the goal of sex but a bi-product of the temporary union. Sex in triune fashion creates and deepens the male, female bond for life.
Let me end these thoughts with what I intended to chase down today in the first place. We all yearn for communion with someone or something greater than ourselves. We are all so desperate to be in communion that we try to fill it with anything we can. There are thousands of things we do in this life to try to remove this feeling of which keeping busy and numb top the list. I will submit a solution, one that will be exceedingly contrary our intellect; that we need to befriend and embrace the pain of our loneliness. As we embrace this pain, it begins to point us back to God as our one true source of life; the one who gave us our hearts. Can you imagine the loneliness that Jesus felt going to the cross? No, but He did it out of the will of His Father and His atoning sacrifice for us; the elect, who chose to believe. Can you fathom what it would be like be on death row just hours to your death? As we approach our death, the unknown of what lies for us on the other side, knowing we cannot take anything with that gave us comfort in the material world or can we take anyone with us. It is this ultimate loneliness where God showed us how much He loves us by killing His one and only Son. The pain of loneliness in this world gives us an opportunity to believe in Jesus; promise to give us life especially when we feel like we are dying in our loneliness. In the end God can only satisfy our loneliness, whether single or married.
My hope is you drink this cup of pain as Jesus did knowing that as your drink of Him. He will restore your heart; a good heart, a new heart, a heart for relationship that includes Him. This loneliness we all have in common, every one of us. It is a place we all understand. It is a place to meet and give your gift to the world. Be lonely my friends; drink as much as you can in those times. It will strengthen you and provide you a passionate heart to love.
