If I had to boil down one central idea to give to my friends it is this message that in each of us lies a love question we all need answered. Consider this in your heart do you give life to your wife/husband and/or significant other?
“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
God made Adam first and put him in the Garden with a job to do, a mission to fulfill. In the heart of every fallen man is the self-doubt that wonders, “Am I man enough to climb this mountain God has called me to? Can I fulfill my destiny?” A wise wife will understand that question at the center of her husband’s heart. And she will spend her life answering it, communicating to him in various ways, “Honey, I believe in your call. I know you can do this, by God’s power. Go for it.” In this way, she will breathe life into her man.
God made Eve from Adam, for Adam, to help him follow the call. In the heart of every fallen woman is the self-doubt that wonders, “Do I please you? Am I what you wanted?” A wise husband will understand that question at the center of his wife’s heart. And he will spend his life answering it, communicating to her in various ways, “Darling, you are the one I need. I cherish you. Let me hold you close.” In this way, he will breathe life into his wife.
By Pastor Dr.Ray Orlund
I hope you spend the rest of your time breathing life into your Eve/Adam by answering their question.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Saturday, September 05, 2009
The 10 Commandments of Dating
I found this outline of this book online and what a great guide to finding Eve/Adam. I just wish I would have had this when I was in my 20's.
From the book by Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams
1. Thou Shalt Get a Life
Unlife: people who have put their life on hold
a. Desperation
b. Dependence
c. Depression and loneliness
d. Detachment
e. Coping with un-Life: Media-Bation
2. Thou Shalt Use Your Brain
Three Drives of Romantic Love (scary!)
1. Emotion-driven dating
2. Hormone-driven dating3. Spirit-driven dating
A Brain is a terrible thing to Waste
1. Balance the Head and the Heart
2. Refrain from physical intimacy
3. Analyze your past relationships
4. Include others in the process
5. Never neglect opportunities to evaluate
3. Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked
Unequally Yoked Relationships
1. The Missionary Relationship (looking outside the church)
2. The Mother Theresa Relationship (going after broken people)
3. The Exotic Relationship (radically different)
4. The Sugar Daddy Relationship (substantial age difference)
5. The Dennis Rodman Relationship (out of rebellion)
The Equally Yoked Relationship
1. The Spiritual Connection
2. The Physical Connection
3. The Social Connection
4. Thou Shalt Take it Slow
Three reasons:
1. You do not get to know a person in a short period of time.
2. You need time to bond. (1-Scouting Stage, 2-Infatuation Stage, 3-Honeymoon Phase,
4-Reality Bites Stage)3. You protect yourself from getting attached too quickly.
5. Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries
How to Stop people from running over you1. Your body belongs to you2. Your emotions belong to you3. Your thoughts belong to you4. Your actions belong to you
6. Thou Shalt Save Sex for Later
Why so many singles are having sex
1. All you need is a condom
2. You've got to have it
3. Sex equals intimacy
4. If you are in love, it's ok
5. You must sample the goods
6. It's just a physical thing
7. Everybody's doing it
How do you save sex for later?
1. Celebrate wholeness
2. Receive forgiveness
3. Set clear boundaries
4. Stay accountable
7. Thou Shalt Not Play House
The real reason people live together
1. Fear
2. Sex
3. Manipulation
4. Immaturity
8. Thou Shalt Fight Fairly
Top four harmful responses to conflict
1.Peace at all costs (avoidance)
2. Win/lose (Defensiveness)
3. You Don't Count (invalidation)
4. All-Out-War (Intensification)
9. Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs
The seven deadly signs
1. AbuseTypes of abuse
a. Physical abuse (use of size, strength)
b. Verbal abuse (use of words to control)
c. Emotional abuse (use of action/lack of action to control/demean)
d. Sexual abuse (sexual behavior harmful to another)
2. Addictions
3. Infidelity
4. Irresponsibility and immaturity (The Peter Pan)
5. No physical/sexual attraction
6. Emotional baggage
7. Denial
Top five reasons why people ignore red flags
1. It's familiar to them
2. They don't deserve anything better
3. It's better than nothing
4. They have the same problem
5. Fear of the breakup
10. Thou Shalt Choose Wisely
Barriers to discerning true character
1. First-Available syndrome
2. Fooled by the externals
3. Blinded by sex
4. Going too fast
Qualities of character
1. Faithful
2. Honest
3. Committed
4. Forgiving
5. Giving
From the book by Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams
1. Thou Shalt Get a Life
Unlife: people who have put their life on hold
a. Desperation
b. Dependence
c. Depression and loneliness
d. Detachment
e. Coping with un-Life: Media-Bation
2. Thou Shalt Use Your Brain
Three Drives of Romantic Love (scary!)
1. Emotion-driven dating
2. Hormone-driven dating3. Spirit-driven dating
A Brain is a terrible thing to Waste
1. Balance the Head and the Heart
2. Refrain from physical intimacy
3. Analyze your past relationships
4. Include others in the process
5. Never neglect opportunities to evaluate
3. Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked
Unequally Yoked Relationships
1. The Missionary Relationship (looking outside the church)
2. The Mother Theresa Relationship (going after broken people)
3. The Exotic Relationship (radically different)
4. The Sugar Daddy Relationship (substantial age difference)
5. The Dennis Rodman Relationship (out of rebellion)
The Equally Yoked Relationship
1. The Spiritual Connection
2. The Physical Connection
3. The Social Connection
4. Thou Shalt Take it Slow
Three reasons:
1. You do not get to know a person in a short period of time.
2. You need time to bond. (1-Scouting Stage, 2-Infatuation Stage, 3-Honeymoon Phase,
4-Reality Bites Stage)3. You protect yourself from getting attached too quickly.
5. Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries
How to Stop people from running over you1. Your body belongs to you2. Your emotions belong to you3. Your thoughts belong to you4. Your actions belong to you
6. Thou Shalt Save Sex for Later
Why so many singles are having sex
1. All you need is a condom
2. You've got to have it
3. Sex equals intimacy
4. If you are in love, it's ok
5. You must sample the goods
6. It's just a physical thing
7. Everybody's doing it
How do you save sex for later?
1. Celebrate wholeness
2. Receive forgiveness
3. Set clear boundaries
4. Stay accountable
7. Thou Shalt Not Play House
The real reason people live together
1. Fear
2. Sex
3. Manipulation
4. Immaturity
8. Thou Shalt Fight Fairly
Top four harmful responses to conflict
1.Peace at all costs (avoidance)
2. Win/lose (Defensiveness)
3. You Don't Count (invalidation)
4. All-Out-War (Intensification)
9. Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs
The seven deadly signs
1. AbuseTypes of abuse
a. Physical abuse (use of size, strength)
b. Verbal abuse (use of words to control)
c. Emotional abuse (use of action/lack of action to control/demean)
d. Sexual abuse (sexual behavior harmful to another)
2. Addictions
3. Infidelity
4. Irresponsibility and immaturity (The Peter Pan)
5. No physical/sexual attraction
6. Emotional baggage
7. Denial
Top five reasons why people ignore red flags
1. It's familiar to them
2. They don't deserve anything better
3. It's better than nothing
4. They have the same problem
5. Fear of the breakup
10. Thou Shalt Choose Wisely
Barriers to discerning true character
1. First-Available syndrome
2. Fooled by the externals
3. Blinded by sex
4. Going too fast
Qualities of character
1. Faithful
2. Honest
3. Committed
4. Forgiving
5. Giving
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