Mocking His Marriage Covenant

My Friends-

We call ourselves men and women who love Christ but we fear not the wrath of Him who will judge us. We take His laws and covenants and make a mockery of them my disobeying them. God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift and to protect us from evil. He gave us the 10 commandments because He loves us and new we need rules to keep us safe and closer to him. Covenants, like the laws are to protect us from evil and to make us pleasing to God. We have answered the question "Why we are here?" for it is only and truly only to glorify our Jesus. Yet we take these laws and covenants and break them as we see fit to make ourselves happy. We rationalize our the circumstances that surround our disobedience and justify our breaking of His laws/covenants. How would it go over in a court of law if we explained to the judge that “Judge, I was just speeding 120 mph in a 65 mph zone because it made me happy and felt good.” The Judge would laugh and say “Son, the laws are in place to protect you and the good of all. I don’t care it made you feel good. I find you guilty of breaking the law.” I say to you “is not Jesus going to judge us rightly for those laws and covenants we broke?”

There are two separate judgments outlined in the Bible. We will be judged at the Judgment Seat of Christ (Romans 14:10-12). Every believer will give an account of himself/herself, and the Lord will judge the decisions he/she made—including those concerning issues of conscience. This judgment does not determine salvation, which is by faith alone (Ephesians 2:8-9), but rather is the time when believers must give an account of their lives in service to Christ.

God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift. The gift was given to us for God knew we were lonely and we needed a helper (Genesis 2:18). You and I have taken this gift and have done things with it that has made God very angry. We have defiled and used this gift for our own pleasures and sometimes at the expense of another person’s judgment day. I am referring to having sex outside of marriage. Sex or better put becoming “one flesh”(Mark 10:8) was a sign or an ongoing ratification of the marriage covenant. Nowhere in the bible does it speak to sex as a gift for our enjoyment outside being married. We must avoid all fornication(sex outside of marriage) 1 Corinthians 4:2 and it is the only sin we can do against our own body(1Corinthians 6:18) which is a temple of God. So therefore you sin against God who made us in His image (Genesis 1:27).

The following passage in 1 Corinthians 6:12-15 from The Message paraphrases the Bible so well. “12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims. 13You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! 14-15God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.” The Message

My fellow brothers/sisters in Christ in order to please and glorify God I submit and demand we can no longer in good conscious disobey God and break His covenants and laws blatantly in the name of personal fulfillment or in thinking we are helping that other person know God. Let me add that sex with another person outside of marriage does not heal our own wounds of past relationships or prepare us to be better lovers in the future.

I end these words to back up my warnings for they are scriptural and are spoken so well in 2 Timothy of why God gave us scripture which in lies His laws and covenants.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16-17

So I ask you this day are you willing to hold each other and ourselves to higher standards, the one’s our God laid out for us? Will you save the gift for your last lover so that your body is as pure for that person as it can be?

Come on just listen to His voice that one that speaking into your heart by ways of guilt or irritations. Quit it before He starts yelling and the gift box becomes tattered and worn.

A Heart Which Grows Younger

Jesus calls us to be child like to know the Father.
Matthew 11:25-26
"At that time Jesus said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.'"

This is a beautiful prayer by a young woman who died at the age of 24. The wisdom God imparts to those that free their minds of this world and learn to hear His call.

Pray with me-

Lord give me the open heart of a child,
Let me come trustingly to You not afraid to ask for Your love,
Deliver me from the belief that I am self suficient,
Show my need of You,
Give me the grace to reach out to you,
Give me a child's simplicity and sense of wonder,
May my enthusiasm for you never dim,
Let me hasten to converse with you in the intimacy of prayer,
Give me discernment to realize there is no detail of my life to tiny for Your concern,
Help me to perceive your glory and the helplessness of the cross,
Son of God for my sake took on dependency of childhood,
Help me to accept the readiness of the Fathers grace.
Amen
Saint Theresa of Lisieux

Man+Porn = Woman + Romance Novels

The devastation to men inflicted by pornography is due to our visual nature. Therefore the same destruction is happening for women with the romance novel due to their emotional nature. Porn and Romance novels distort reality and damage true intimacy which is a sin. One is acceptable in culture one is not! FaceBook Post


From JV - not all men are inflicted by pornography, although we are all visual, and not all women are inflicted by romance novels.......distortion is there only if you allow it
October 8 at 11:31am ·

From PP - what the hell are you trying to say?
October 8 at 11:47am

My Reply - We are all inflicted to some level by sexual perversion and lust. I was just pointing out to all the women what they think is harmless may be ruining their ability to be truly intimate with their husband or boyfriend just like porn ruins a man's view of his wife or girlfriend.
October 8 at 12:25pm

My Reply - Not all men I agree! I know it runs rampant in groups of men I know especially with the high school young men. Porn is a huge problem more addictive than alcohol and drugs because it requires nothing of us and cheaper and easier to get and just seconds away. I have stayed away from it and have had to ask people to not send me those type of emails. I would be lying if I didn't partake of it in the past. Start burning those romance novels :)
October 8 at 3:34pm

From SM - MP, my friend, pornography may ruin YOUR view of your wife or girlfriend... but do not generalize in your comments, as pornography itself is harmless, even beneficial if taken in small doses. It may help some to open up to unknown pleasures... It´s the misuse and abuse that is harmful... and that, my friend cannot be generalized.
October 8 at 4:17pm

My Reply - So your logic goes as if to make a little crack or heroine is ok? Porn like any other evil works slowly to own the user! If you said it in Spanish I wouldn't be able to reply which in some cases might be less offensive. One day we must meet again.
Mon at 8:14pm

Who Made Me - Evolution or Intelligent Design

Evolution or Intelligent Design? Darwin's theory of evolution created bad fruit like EUGENICS which was responsible for the Holocaust and other genocides. Matt 7 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves... You can identify them by their fruit...A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. But go ahead let them feed it to our kids!

From JS - Eugenics was not responsible for the Holocaust, MP! Sheesh! An overly punitive Treaty of Versailles left the German people looking to a charismatic thug with a hatred of the Jews so they could feed their starving children.. THAT's what caused the Holocaust.Eugenics is completely misunderstood and is not in itself a bad thing. We can feed the world on ever-decreasing amounts of arable land thanks to eugenics.We need to grab beers soon so we can argue more on this. :)
October 1 at 4:56pm

So I asked my daughters six grade teacher what the school was teaching. Here is their reply.

Here is my orginal question: Just curious in science does the school district teach evolution or intelligent design theory?

From School Principal - I went to the district-level for the response:

Our district science curriculum is aligned with the Kansas Science Education Standards and Assessment and the National Science Education Standards. Evolution is not a topic included in the elementary level science curriculum. Natural selection, a concept within evolution, is studied in grade 7 science. One of the many curriculum concepts in the study of biology includes evolution, which is taken by students in either 9th or 10th grade. However, human evolution is not a part of our science curriculum. Intelligent design is not taught in the science curriculum.
JM, Science Facilitator, Olathe District Schools

My Reply Back -

Thank you Pat for the attention to this matter. I feel it is important for me as a parent to know what is being taught to my kids in these matters where politics and our government start to dictate what we teach our kids in matters that don’t get equal footing like in the evolution for versus intelligent design debate. I don’t think we can ever separate our faith life from our education life because at every second of the day we must have faith. Faith that the school will not collapse when my child is there, to faith that the teachers will show up for work each day. Again, thanks for your help and I am especially thankful for your call to teach my/our kids. What an important call that is!

Have Not's and The Have's

Have Not's hate the Have's. The Have’s hate the Have Not’s. And nobody is left in the middle. I want the middle but I am finding it a hard place to find. Hey doesn’t Jesus want us to be Have Not’s? Maybe that’s why He has taken from me from a Have... to the middle on my way down to be a Have Not. Don’t hate me my Have friends, I won't take you down with me unless you want to go.
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From JS - I dont think Jesus wants us to be a have not; but rather wants us to give generously on all occaisions; I dont think doing that as have not will not work very well.
September 28 at 1:53pm

My Reply - Bad Theology when I hear the Prosperity Bible Pitch. The Way as Jesus showed us: To Believe Jesus is God(faith), He chooses to save us, saved produces good works, we die, we are resurrected by Jesus who judges us by our works either rewards us or 2nd permanent death occur. Luke 14:27, John 12:25, Mark 8:35, Mat 16:26, Mar 10:25. I don’t think anything Christ talks about being a HAVE in this life! In the eternal life Have all you want if only if you have been saved and have good works.
September 28 at 2:44pm

From GW - HE wants us to focus "not of this world", but of the world of everlasting life. HE does want to bless us here on this earth ("in heaven as it was on earth") just not loose our focus. HE blessed so many in the bible, Solomon, David, Job - unfortunately, look what happens to most - they loose focus on the Word.
September 28 at 3:17pm

From JS - Here's a couple of verses that have meant a lot to me. I'm not a theologian so I would say any theology good or bad, on my part, was inadvertent. I have personal relationship with him that time and time again, I've experienced that he loves me so much and that he is my provision. Each and every time all my needs are met according to his riches. (Philippians 4:19) Jesus Came that we might have life and have it abundantly...John 10:10, 3 Jo 1:2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. and I always encourage people to remember that it is the "Love" of money that is the root of all evil. NOT money itself. And isn't the gift of "giving" one of the spiritual gifts? If it was more noble to be poor financially and to be a "have not" wouldn't we be cursing others when we give to them? Isn't this whole idea of poverty being piety, creating a double bind on all who hear it? I think that's why it's hard to find the middle.
September 28 at 4:09pm

From - GW - Well said Joseph
September 28 at 4:14pm

From JS - Thanks George. What if all the "Haves" loved the "have nots" ? then everybody would be covered. :)
September 28 at 4:40pm

My Reply - Joe, not coming after you but I hear so many people think and especially the churches tell people that if you just follow Christ life will be easier. Then the church gets people into doing Christianity and the hole point to Christ as you put so well it to have relationship with Him. It is that relationship that fuels good works and leads us away from greed, gluttony, pride etc.. those things that rob us from true life in Christ. Yes Yes TWO Commandments Christ said were the most important Love God and Love Each other and the rest would fall in place. Our evil run culture give us the Have and Have Not arena to keep us fighting and not loving.
September 28 at 4:45pm

From GW - Joseph, if all the Haves loved the Have nots this world would be a much better place. The most important commandment given us is to Love. period, no questions, no asterisks, just Love. All I concern myself with every day is this...Do I "HAVE" Christ in my heart and am I sharing HIS love with the "Havenots"?
September 28 at 4:59pm

My Reply -Have Not's Fear not meeting their needs. The Have's Fear not meeting their wants. Philippians 4 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. It is all about Christ
September 29 at 8:43am


From GW - To look at it another way MP. There are really only two groups of people in this world, the Haves and the Have Nots...I agree, but you either Have CHRIST and are saved, or you Have not and are lost...just something to think about.
September 29 at 9:04am

Adultery and Her Glory

To my dismay I see a trend amongst my male friends their (ex)wives are cheating(ed) with their hearts in the pursuit of her own GLORY. WIVES you must understand this that glory is not yours to have it is for Jesus ONLY. Your selfish needs for attention and glorification is destroying families. Luke 23:34
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My Reply -These are good men I speak of loyal, kind, great fathers, providers, and nice guys. The good news for those good women out their on the good side that have experience the same Adultery you will have opportunity to find a good man and have a chance at experiencing a good man. Marriage hard dam hard remember your vows. I don't think they said cheat if your not getting the glory you deserve! I would warn men in the same vain.
September 23 at 2:16pm

From CB - I am not sure what Luke 23:34 has to do with your friends’ marriage, you might want to re-think this posting. Luke 23:34 is Jesus talking about those who are persecuting him on the cross and he says "forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing" There might be another scripture verse that deals with Adultery that is better suited. Again I might have misunderstood you above.
September 23 at 3:59pm

My Reply - NO, will not remove this! What I was referring to was "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." This has been my phrase that has helped so much in life. When someone flips me off or runs me off the road on my bike. Instead of getting angry back I pray to God same thing Jesus did on the cross. Forgive the Father for some have yet to deal with their own righteousness. Everyone know adultery is a sin that was too obvious to point out. The point is the she's from the main post know not what they are doing by cheating! Oh the damage they cause it ripples through every one's lives when you destroy a marriage. I have been damaged by it.
September 23 at 4:29pm

From GW - But if we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, and we are filled with the Holy Spirit and someone sins against us by being unfaithful...they are also sinning against our Father. Remember, this body is HIS temple. I do agree that "we" also must forgive them - not continue to put up with it, but forgive them as HE has forgiven us.
September 23 at 5:56pm

My Reply - Amen G! I forgive my ex and I forgive myself for breaking up my family. Divorce is bad and not biblical per New Testament. My heart was hardened now Jesus has called me, softened my heart and given me a heart to see the Kingdom. We must forgive each other no matter what and the cheater must be forgiven for us to open our hearts to love now and in the future. He commands us to Love the Father and Love each other even our enemies. If you spouse cheats forgive them, love them keep them. If they cannot stop/repent then divorce them per Moses.
September 24 at 10:05am


From LS - A sin is a sin in Gods eyes. You can forgive the one who hurt you. But for God to forgive them they must truely repent from that din in all ways. Turn your back on the lover, friends who helped get you there, activities, what ever helped lead you to making the bad CHOICES! Noy mistakes but CHOICES!!!!! God knows what is in your heart & He knows when it is real or just trying to cover your tail. I forgave my cheating husband & because of that I knew God no longer gave me a way out of our marriage, then he did not truely repent & God walked the path right out with me. Love above all! We need to remember if we do not forgive others how do we expect God to forgive us?
October 9 at 11:46pm

It's Not the Thought that Counts

"If there is anything I can do for you or your family just let me know!." I HATE THIS PHRASE. Come on people those words when spoken mean you are not KIND or COMPASSIONATE enough to stop your selfishness to help. Quit patronizing those that need help and just do it. I call this JOCO, I am too busy making my life safe/easy syndrome. Dam, just go hold her hand if can't think of anything else! FaceBook Post

From SM - MP, I would try to do anything for you, but you are hopeless ... !!!! :)
September 18 at 3:40pm

From CC - Is everything ok? If you need anything let us know... We are here for ya. :)
September 18 at 6:47pm

From TJC - MP, you know Shara and I are always there for you guys
September 18 at 9:40pm


My Reply - This is not about me my friends and thank you I know you are there and have been of great help when I needed it. My intent here was to share with you my experience with my sister who is terriably ill. I have noticed those that offer help and those that just give help. Soup kitchen,mentoring young people, coaching, helping at school are acts that we just do with being prompted for details. Just Help was the point. Do anything, most times people in need will not let you know.
September 19 at 6:54am


From CC - Couldn't agree with you more!
September 19 at 9:09am

How Mister Preacher Did You Come Up With That Version?

I don't think those who preach the Prosperity version of the Bible have ever really read it. Joel O. you forgot to read the Gospels of Jesus Christ who was born of a virgin, in a manger, poor, from podunk village, mocked, spat on, beaten, nailed to a tree next to thieves. murdered. Jesus said take up your cross and follow Me. He who loses his life finds it! See video Stop sending checks to Joel Osteen.

From JS - Podunk village?! Nazareth had some great foam parties and bustling rave scene during the first century!
September 17 at 11:01pm

From SM - Do people still send checks to preachers? C´mon !!! Bank xfers are so much easier...
September 18 at 1:52pm

From KO - I have always thought there was something fishy about that guy. Not sure I know enough about him. I am with u.
September 18 at 7:34am

From TV - more growth during pain, God talks to me when I am hurting and praying, when things are going along okay i tend to drift and God has to pull me back, right now I am in pain and praising God and it has been amazing, i still hurt but there is a comfort there knowing he is with me
September 23 at 10:18pm

Prosperity Christianity Junk

If you think Christianity is about making you a nice guy or good guy then your sick. The truth makes you good not nice because speaking the truth hurts most of the time. Oh and this Prosperity Christianity thing is the devils way of taking you and me out of the battle stripping us of our passion to fight and defend. Here don't listen to me see what Pastor Mark Driscoll says! How pastors should be preaching! Enjoy the expresso shot. Click Here For Short Video
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From DZ - Hey MP -Thanks for the post. After watching the video, it seems to me that Joel gets some his ideas about victory launched in the right direction, but they aren't targeted, nor refined enough. By trusting Jesus through his grace, he gives us the power over sin through his Spirit. We are new creatures and given a new life (Colossians 3 and Ephesians 4)with the ability to say no to sin because he conquered it through the resurrection. It seems to me this is where Joel's messages need to be strengthened. He needs to bring in more Christ. Another thing that it seems is missing is the idea of God putting trials in our path to test our faith to produce endurance that will lead us to be perfect and complete lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4) I have yet to find God saying to us in the Bible that he wants to be comfortable, rather he wants us to be holy. That is he wants us to be perfect and complete ... and he will use any means necessary to make that a reality. Blessings.
September 18 at 12:53am

Don't Go To Church

"If you want your life to go well stay away from Jesus." John Piper, Pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church. Good reason to not go to church or believe. My life has gone to well. FaceBook Status Post


From AS - Yes, but in context this could mean that life is easier in some ways for nonbelievers because they never have to question their choices or examine where their free will leads them astray.
September 12 at 8:19pm


My Reply - My experiences tells me we can get away from not believing or from not questioning our own wills until the big Bang happens in our lives. The bang that signals "i am not really in control after all". When that happens we two methods of living 1. numb up, get addicted drugs, alcohol, sex, sports, tv, shopping etc (takes our mind off of reality and ourselves) 2. Pray to God to save us from destructive(evil) self for Him to open our hearts to understand pain is part of life and is good for our souls growth and that He is in control. For if you know pain, you surely know love. You cannot really love in choice number 1.
September 14 at 5:35pm

From AS - I totally agree that you are closed off from loving fully until you relinquish your false sense of control. All I was really saying is that "stay away from Jesus" is kind of a tongue-in-cheek suggestion that believers know is the way nonbelivers cruise through life thinking of no one but themselves -- they can define their life according to their own precepts and stay away from the things that push them into the pain of self reflection. Narcissists are all about this concept.
September 14 at 10:01pm

My Reply -Do you think they will make a pill for Narcissism? How would it work? Remove our selfishness!! Maybe then we could put it in the drinking water and change the whole world!
September 15 at 9:58am

Old Friends and The Matrix

Right now your feeling... I can see it your eyes.. Do you believe in fate? I don't like the idea that I am not in control. You felt it your entire life that there is something wrong with this world. You were born into a prison. You take the blue...... the story ends you believe whatever you want. Take the red pill and stay in wonderland and I show how deep.. Remember all I am offering is the truth..Follow Me. Jesus/Morp The Movie "The Matrix" FaceBook Status Post
Click Here to Watch the video clip


From CS - So what happens when I take the red and blue with Jack Daniels backer, and I get an erection for more than 4 hours. Who do I call, again.
September 11 at 7:53pm

From DP - hilarious chuck, I can't top it, but I have done that. Don't call your wife or your mom. either call Palitto, Morpheus or johnny knoxville. one of them will think of something.
September 13 at 11:45pm


My Reply - It took you all this long to get me! You are much slower in your old age. In our youth you would not of let me have as much time to hang myself. What are friend for if they wait as long you have to chime in on my craziness? Happy Bday Chuck hope you drink too many strawberry daiquiris and throw up all over your wife and stain her white negligee that you stole from a stripper last week out on 175th Street and 169 hwy.
September 14 at 5:22pm


My Reply - Your wisdom is correct we all take both pills chasing them down with our favored numbing potion to only wake up here and there with a hangover and a minor feeling of guilt. You can call anytime and I will talk you down!(no pun intended)
September 14 at 5:26pm


From CS - Mr. P, How are things going with you? I had to finally chime in, you have to hit bottom before I can bring you back from the depths. I never steal negilgee from strippers,I usually wear it as some sort of hat! Thanks for the bday wishes, off to Norman Ok to watch my sooners play, and spend a few nights on the uncles farm.
September 15 at 8:44pm

Chasing False Dreams

Is this how you want to feel? This is short video excerpt taken from Quarterback Tom Brady after wining his 3th superbowl ring. "There has got to be more than this?"
Watch Video Click Here

There is an answer Tom!

We Have Nothing To Lose

Since your future is absolutely secure and since your future is absolutely glorious you are freed not to grasp and crave and scratch after power and money and pleasure on earth you are liberated to love like nobody else loves. You are liberated to be engaged in politics, liberated to be engaged at work, liberated and engage in the neighborhood caring about what the world looks like, feels like, experienced like, whatever happens to you, you are home free. The future being rapped, a hope being set out there that absolutely makes your future certain makes you an absolutely free person who doesn’t need to mount up stuff as thought this were heaven, got have a heavenly house, got to have a heavenly neighborhood, got to have a heavenly car, heavenly cabin, heavenly kids you don’t. Heaven will come soon enough we are here to serve. Unless you become a slave of all men you can’t even be my disciple... Give yourself away to this world and if it cost you I promise you in the name of Jesus Christ it will be worth it. Every cost will be worth it. By John Piper, Pastor, Desiring God Sermon

We as believers who have faith and by the total grace of God have the liberty to live our lives fully engaged with NO FEAR for our future is already secured in Heaven. We are to give our lives away for others at all cost. It was freely given to us therefore we have no investment in it other than to give it away.

As Jesus said in Matthew 6:20 “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

As Paul said in 1 Timothy 6:19 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

So my friends engage don’t be afraid for heaven is really only a few days, months, years away and this short time will be inconsequential to that of eternity. Thank you John Piper for such clarity.

I am Dying In Front of You

Do not worry about me my friends for the things I write/speak about are a glimpse of the battle between my spirit and my flesh. For by the grace of God does my flesh die little by little with each tribulation in my life. Part of me that you know dies right in front of you and I know when some of you see this somehow you feel the pain in your heart too. For when we die to this world we truly live. FaceBook Status Post


From KO - The only real truth we have in this world comes from the Good Book. We try to make up or rationalize our own based on our own wants/ desires yet it never seems to fit what God wants for us! Oh the human condition what an affliction to try and fight everyday! Why do we do that???
September 6 at 11:39pm

The 10 Commandments of Dating

I found this outline of this book online and what a great guide to finding Eve/Adam. I just wish I would have had this when I was in my 20's.

From the book by Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams

1. Thou Shalt Get a Life

Unlife: people who have put their life on hold
a. Desperation
b. Dependence
c. Depression and loneliness
d. Detachment
e. Coping with un-Life: Media-Bation

2. Thou Shalt Use Your Brain

Three Drives of Romantic Love (scary!)
1. Emotion-driven dating
2. Hormone-driven dating3. Spirit-driven dating

A Brain is a terrible thing to Waste
1. Balance the Head and the Heart
2. Refrain from physical intimacy
3. Analyze your past relationships
4. Include others in the process
5. Never neglect opportunities to evaluate

3. Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked

Unequally Yoked Relationships
1. The Missionary Relationship (looking outside the church)
2. The Mother Theresa Relationship (going after broken people)
3. The Exotic Relationship (radically different)
4. The Sugar Daddy Relationship (substantial age difference)
5. The Dennis Rodman Relationship (out of rebellion)

The Equally Yoked Relationship
1. The Spiritual Connection
2. The Physical Connection
3. The Social Connection

4. Thou Shalt Take it Slow

Three reasons:
1. You do not get to know a person in a short period of time.
2. You need time to bond. (1-Scouting Stage, 2-Infatuation Stage, 3-Honeymoon Phase,
4-Reality Bites Stage)3. You protect yourself from getting attached too quickly.

5. Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries

How to Stop people from running over you1. Your body belongs to you2. Your emotions belong to you3. Your thoughts belong to you4. Your actions belong to you

6. Thou Shalt Save Sex for Later

Why so many singles are having sex
1. All you need is a condom
2. You've got to have it
3. Sex equals intimacy
4. If you are in love, it's ok
5. You must sample the goods
6. It's just a physical thing
7. Everybody's doing it

How do you save sex for later?
1. Celebrate wholeness
2. Receive forgiveness
3. Set clear boundaries
4. Stay accountable

7. Thou Shalt Not Play House

The real reason people live together
1. Fear
2. Sex
3. Manipulation
4. Immaturity

8. Thou Shalt Fight Fairly

Top four harmful responses to conflict
1.Peace at all costs (avoidance)
2. Win/lose (Defensiveness)
3. You Don't Count (invalidation)
4. All-Out-War (Intensification)

9. Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs

The seven deadly signs

1. AbuseTypes of abuse
a. Physical abuse (use of size, strength)
b. Verbal abuse (use of words to control)
c. Emotional abuse (use of action/lack of action to control/demean)
d. Sexual abuse (sexual behavior harmful to another)

2. Addictions
3. Infidelity
4. Irresponsibility and immaturity (The Peter Pan)
5. No physical/sexual attraction
6. Emotional baggage
7. Denial

Top five reasons why people ignore red flags
1. It's familiar to them
2. They don't deserve anything better
3. It's better than nothing
4. They have the same problem
5. Fear of the breakup

10. Thou Shalt Choose Wisely

Barriers to discerning true character
1. First-Available syndrome
2. Fooled by the externals
3. Blinded by sex
4. Going too fast

Qualities of character
1. Faithful
2. Honest
3. Committed
4. Forgiving
5. Giving

Living To Out Loud

Ok! I will come down for bit. It is starting to hurt my hands and feet anyway. FaceBook Post

From TA -Nothing like the power of a committed man on a mission! Though I am not on exactly the same page with you, I really am inspired by your passion and commitment to what you believe. The loss ofvision in our world is devastating. When someone like you comes along with a powerful one, matched with a singular personal mission, things get shaken up and we all need more of that. Not the shouting and screaming at each other kind of shaken up that the news media loves to cover, but the soul-ratteling, belief-questioning, growing up kind of shaking up. Keep it up my friend. Blessings.
September 4 at 9:23am

My Reply -I am so far from His way. I am guilty of personal self fulfillment. These messages are me preaching more to myself than to others. Thank you for picking me up. When I write these messages I fear cultures reactions. I fear losing friends. I don't want to shout but the Gospel compels me to share His message. I love the exchange of opinions it pushes me to think and dive deeper into the Way. Sorry for the last post for those about the hands and feet I don't mean to make light of what Jesus did for all of us.
September 4 at 11:08am

From TA- Truth is found in the search. The Gospel - whatever gospel or teaching you chose to follow - is understood by living it, especially the struggle part of it. "Blessed are they that morn, for they shall be comforted." You are a good man, Mike. Carry on.
September 4 at 12:23pm

From FF - I dare to say you can't stop. Once you are awakened to the truth going back is a painful option that is normally a long slow slide to the middle. It is a blessing to be different amongst the masses and a blessing!
September 4 at 8:15pm

From FF - Thanks for sharing your passion via the facebook platform!
September 4 at 8:17pm

A Visit From God

Jesus came to show us the Way to the Father and Not the way to the mall or lake or Vegas. He said take up your cross, lay down your life, and follow Him to Calvary. Where you going fellow Christian? Facebook Status Post


From SM - the problem has always been the middle-man. Know what I mean?
September 4 at 10:48am

From Me -Perfectly put my friend from a far away land. We are pushed to the middle where it is safer and easier. No one gets put on the cross for riding the couch. Our culture is about the middle it makes us not a threat. A threating man is one who is passionate and who is on purpose. Take any great man the masses usually hated him.
September 4 at 11:19am

At War with the Devil

My life wasn't a battle until I became a threat to evil. Now its a full on war. There was a time when I didn't see/feel the war around me. I was numb to it. The veil of culture fooled me into thinking there is no war. This nullified my gifts(weapons) and made me a non-threat to evil. Now that I have been given the eyes to see the ears to hear the truth of how evil runs this world I have no choice but to fight/protect. - Facebook Post

I Don't Trust

I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound. Think of the posers you know—are they the kind of man you would call at 2:00 A.M., when life is collapsing around you? Not me. I don’t want clichés...; I want deep, soulful truth, and that only comes when a man has walked the road. By John Eldredge "Wild at Heart"

AS, TA and 2 others like this.

TV
agreed
Mon at 2:48pm

TA
Not only suffered, but a) are unafraid to admit it, and b) are living from a place of seeing the value in it and has grown from it. Thanks for sharing this Mike. Let's get together sometime soon.
Mon at 4:01pm

LS
When u state a man who hasn't faced his wound - what do u mean here? Is that to own up to his doings?? Confessing of wrongs to yourself or others? I do know Sherry and Mindy are two I would and could call at 2 am. Good people like u!
Tue at 11:46am


Me
Our wounds are from the past inflicted upon us by others. A divorce, cheating spouse, addictions, real failures, and those wounds are parents gave are the deepest. These are the wounds we all have and it these wounds God uses to help others. Jesus us healed us through His wounds. Our wounds we bring to our marriages and in most cases they are what causes most of the difficulties. Acknowledge we are broken wounded children of God lets the healing begin.
Tue at 12:49pm

JG
Mike I read the book brother and I could not disagree with you "Wild at Heart" is an awesome book that I recommend all men to read. Wounds come in many different styles and flavors I find it to be very inspiring when one can confess the truth of his wounds. The problem I see is that most people are bias and uses those wounds against you once confessed. So where do you find such good people that are excepting and willing to over look the short comings of a man?
Tue at 11:10pm

LS
Sherry did a very bold and brave thing the other day and I was sooo proud of her openness about her past and not all of it is was roses.. but she sent me this and learning from my past and realizing we are not perfect and all have past faults but we must love the person for who they are not who we want them to be..... Who we are tells us alot about our walk with God- past and present- Here is an email quote she sent me. the beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them...thomas merton
Yesterday at 9:35am


Me
Those who face their wounds find that God has given them their purpose in it. Look at John Walsh who hosts/found Americas Most Wanted. His passion and purpose came out of the wound of his son being murdered. Lara and Sherry show us in there message above what great women know and show us how to love that is why we need a woman. There are many friends here on my facebook that sneer and criticize me for my openness and the subjects i wrestle with. It is disheartening that my friends drop me from facebook because of my openness. In history any great man or woman has found their God given purpose through a wound. I know God is doing something spectacular with the wounds of my failed marriage. He has given me ministry to work with young men to share with them the mistakes I have made in dating and choosing a woman to marry. It is so amazing to see these young men wrestle with me and God. What is beautiful Joe is there are men out here wanting to heal and share their stuff.
Yesterday at 9:51am

Crucifixation of Marriage

"The ideal marriage is one that is most like the crucifixation." C.S. Lewis - Therefore we must die for a woman. Come on that's how it works anyway, admit it and enjoy it Christ did it for us.

Arranging My Life

I am finally done (maybe) trying to Arrange my life. Anyone else gotten to this point Yet?


By AS on August 15 at 11:54a
No amount of arranging seems to make a difference. I just point myself in a direction and try to follow wherever it is I'm supposed to go!

What Drives Our Every Decision?

A wise therapist told me these 3 life forces drive almost every decision and choice we make in life. 1. Fear of abandoment (If I am really authentic and take off my cultural mask will people like me?) 2. Need for atonomy (I was given a unique purpo...se to live for will I find it and live it?) 3. Need to be connected (The drive for deep intimacy to truly have someone deeply understand me and me another)

AS on August 7 at 3:55pm I've waded my way through the first two but haven't mastered them . It's number 3 that is driving me lately.

What A Man Wants

continued.. What a man wants is a woman to show him how to love, to show him beauty and to invite him into relationship. He needs freedom, he needs a fight to undertake, he needs a safe place to come back from the battle of life. What he doesn't need is to be controlled or the wildness taken out of him. And this too is how we should raise our sons. That is how to stir a man's heart and get what you want!

Women: Getting more than you imagined

Culture and the media has rewired us men so far from what you women(spouses) want us to be that I doubt any method you have thought up will be stronger and more effective than the lies of the media. So some women join media/culture and use the power of their beauty to get what they want out of us. I suggest women find out what a man really wants(its not more sex) and you will get more from him than you can imagine.

Beauty Hunted

My fear grows as my daughter develops into a beautiful young woman that she will be hunted by evil that which drives men to possess/steal Gods beauty in her. Lord protect her. Lord give me the strength to defend her.


BP on July 20 at 12:05pm
Adam an eve

SJ on July 20 at 12:41pm
Being a good, loving, present father is the best thing you can do for your daughters. A father is a girls first love. I unfortunatly wasnt able to provide that for my daughter until my husband entered our lives when my daughter was 11. Now she knows what a good loving man is. She knows how a man should treat a woman..... be a loving example and she will be alright!!

AS on July 20 at 1:28pm
We should talk. My daughter is 14 and oblivious to boys' attention ... but I see grown men staring at her when we're out and it strikes the deepest fear in me I've ever known!


FF on July 20 at 10:18pm
Prayers for ChildrenDaily pray:1. Father God, I ask that you would send your angels to bind up any and all demons which have rights and grounds to my children and that you do that right now. I command that all demons that have rights and grounds to my children be completely separated from all their functions, now. I command that any demons that have any business to do with my wife/children/husband today that you come through me first. (In other words, if the enemy has a bone to pick, go pick on someone his own size).3. Father God, please place a barrier of protection around each one of my children right now and Lord Jesus, I ask that you would come today, at any time necessary, to deal with any and all spirit beings which might attempt to harass my children/spouse.4. Pray Ephesians 6 over your children.

ME on July 21 at 4:08pm
thanks everyone! Beauty is ok to look at what I am talking about is trying to possess, prey, or take advantage of it! God gave us beauty especially in a woman as a gift like a sunset or beautiful flower. It is hard not to notice beauty or to deny it moves us. It is when men are moved to take it when its not theirs is the probably and where my fear lies. Sometimes women don't know what they invite/stif in men or where to cut it off. Men don't know where to stop the hunt and especially they don't know what damage they do in their pursuit to capture beauty. Fellow men admire, thank, and leave them alone please.

To Feel Life

Lord thank you for letting me FEEL life for removing the numbness that this culture imparted on me for so long. For I know pain all to well but do I ever now know joy! Lord make sure I continue to have pain in my life. Please make my life hard, serve up loss, disappointment, and brokenness often.


BP on July 15 at 5:29pm
Amen :) !!!

AS on July 15 at 10:12pm
This makes me happy for you.

SM on July 16 at 12:26pm
leather, whips and chains involved here? sounds like the ultimate masoch prayer while getting spanked... naughty boy, you!! lol !! Cheer up Mike !! Come visit...

GW on July 16 at 12:35pm
Great meeting under the stars and all GOD's glory talking with you my friend. Know as your friend and brother from another mother, always there for you!

ME on July 16 at 12:39pm ·
Its been a good week much to be happy about. Healing is always sweet. Can ya taste it!

AS on July 16 at 1:59pm
I know exactly what you mean. I've done a lot of healing, just in the past month!

Way, Truth, Life in red letters!

“If Christians would really live according to the teachings of Christ, as found in the Bible, all of India would be Christian today.” Gandhi

I would go further to say "all of the world" would Be!

Not Between PLEASE

One day joy will visit again yet only for a short time and in joys departure I will come to know God more. If you find me numb and not passionate please wake me, share with me a struggle or wound so that I may return quickly to realizing Life needs/is pain. Without pain I cannot recognize or fully appreciate the fleeting moments of pure joy. I would rather be crying in pain and crying in joy then be in between.

Simone Weil was right; there are only two things that pierce the human heart: beauty and affliction.

The Work Between

My life is defined better by what I am not. I am not my mistakes and I am definitely not my successes for those are the sounds of a gong. I am sort of working who God wants me to be in the between. Its the between where the numbness and forgetfulness of the works God wants us to do there.

JB on June 23 at 4:49pm
...you're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself.... You're not your name.... You're not your problems.... You're not your age.... You are not your hopes.


AS on June 23 at 7:36pm
The life in between part is the best of all. I can vouch.

SM on June 23
hmmm... interesting. But isn´t it a lazy way of trying not to define who you really are? If your are 40 years old, for example, that is a better picture of you than saying that you are not 39, or 43, or 74, or 89, or 95.... no?

The Desire Cure

**BREAKING NEWS** Stoicism is reaching pandemic proportions. (stoicism: the repression of emotion and indifference to pleasure or pain). There is a cure and its free. All you have to do is awaken the desires of your heart. Do YOU remember way back or seen a child laugh one minute the next crying in pain? Desire is good my friends real darn good! Go there...

JB at 11:53am June 18
I have no feeling or reaction to this...
TR at 4:10pm June 18
Is it just me, or is this disorder more likely to affect the male members of our species?
JB at 4:11pm June 18
call it rage contained.
SM at 4:14pm June 18
Uhhh, What?
ME at 4:16pm June 18
Research shows that it is highly contagious especially in Johnson County and most prevalent amongst the men. Our Dad's did not let us get vaccinated even though Mom insisted but that was back when it was a man's world.

Shutting Up

I want you to tell me something we should dare not talk about! (this is for those that can discern evil)

JB at 8:09pm June 15
are you high?

GW at 8:27pm June 15
We should not talk about others who have made mistakes, shouldn't gossip, should never do anything to knock someone down. We are suppose to love and forgive. Hmm, sounds like something that SOMEONE did for me.

AS at 9:52pm June 15
I'll just list the three party busters: politics, sex, religion. Although it certainly would be nice to ignore the rules.

TR at 1:00am June 16
I'm still working on responding to your email.....but in that same mindset; if we're honest with ourselves (do we still have that ability?)....what takes precedence in our hearts; our love for God and our heartfelt desire to do what He would have us do -- or our absorption in the "American Dream" (read: the unrelenting desire for more and better material things....?) CAN we have them both???

FF at 11:24pm June 16
Our society tells us we are suppose to keep our "hurts" secret. We are not suppose to admit to being weak, but it is when we can admit our weakness and face it that is can be healed by God's hands.....whether it be food, drugs, alcohol, relationships, materialism, sex, etc.

SR at 10:08am June 17
love your deepness Mike : )

When Beauty Blinds

When you do find someone out...Oh why could I have not seen it back then? I guess my selfishness and beauty(physicality) so blinds me and hides what truly someone is about. Crafty is the father of all lies! One day I will out smart him and do it right with a lot of help.

AS at 9:32pm May 27
Good luck on the outsmart move. Let me know how that works out. It's not selfishness always that blinds, sometimes its optimism and hope for goodness in that person.

PRIDE: Lying To Ourselves

I submit the more pride we have the more we lie to ourselves and others.

JP at 11:40am May 27
especially to ourselves...

TR at 12:49pm May 27
Hm. I think....the less self worth we feel, the more we lie to others initially and ourselves ultimateley --in the pathetic and transparent hope of portraying ourselves as proud or "worthy".

KO at 1:41pm May 27
I am soooo guilty of this SIN! I think I try to put up a fasod for fear of getting hurt by others. Vulnerability is difficult for me.

ME at 2:32pm May 27
Biggest lie is the lingering question that haunts us all..Are we good enough? The answer is YES if we are authentic (lie-less). So in short be yourself at all times and it will hurt because we are all broken.

TR at 2:41pm May 27
God made all of us, and He knows what He's doing, so the hurdle we have to overcome as human beings is to put our trust in Him, and TRY to focus on the things that truly matter (sometimes focusing more on others and less on ourselves!), and in doing so, learn to be comfortable with who we are, learn to love and accept ourselves -- our TRUE selves -- flaws and all -- like HE does! Big challenge!

Giving Myself Up

Man its tough to give up myself!

BH at 10:09am May 18
that carpal tunnel syndrome will not heal otherwise.


TR at 11:52am May 18
Hmmm....How so, MP?

ME at 12:51pm May 18
have you ever examined your day/thoughts and tallied up just how big a pigs we can be?? Yea maybe do something nice for someone but ultimately some sort of instinctual survival and self gratification shoulder sitting voice tortures our attention back to us solely!

TR at 1:10pm May 18
Oh -- have I!! I so know what you're saying! It's disturbing! Even LOVE! Why do human beings "fall in love"? Because of how it makes us feel! We feel happy and giddy. At the core level, it's all about "ME". Or, like you said -- we do something nice for someone...is it coincidence that doing so makes us feel good about ourSELVES? We get to believe "I'm such a good person". I was going to say maybe my kids are an exception, but I don't think so, because I feel good (happy) when they're happy. So I'm motivated to keep trying to "make them happy". (Very simply put). I've struggled too, but see no way around it....again not in this life. .....Didn't mean that to sound quite so harshbelieve "I'm such a good person". I was going to say maybe my kids are an exception, but I don't think so, because I feel good (happy) when they're happy. So I'm motivated to keep trying to "make them happy". (Very simply put). I've struggled too, but see no way around it....again not in this life. .....Didn't mean that to sound quite so harsh.

ME at 1:27pm May 18
harsh NO! the truth absolutely!


FF at 10:20pm May 18
The awareness of our self-centeredness is a blessing and a curse....but denial is no longer a pleasant possibility!

AS at 10:22pm May 18
There are selfless people in the world but I'm not sure I know any of them, and I know I'm surely not one of them, try as I might. I find the most disappointment in the work environment -- toxic levels of self involvement.


ME at 10:30pm May 18
like(no love) this! Thanks for sharing I needed it. Just a great example of helping each other wrestle with life. Oh btw, I did fast from lunch today so I could read to my son's 2nd grade class!!How unselfish of me!LOL But they did make me laugh and feel good! HMMM maybe I did it for me not them!! Their you go again thinking about me!! :)

FF at 2:48pm May 19
If I am in denial about something, please leave the cozy blanket in place and don't go ripping it off:-)

We Deserve Nothing

The word "deserve" needs to struck from our vocabulary immediately and add to it "entitlement" because it so interrupts God's will for each of us!

DS at 11:18am May 31
I think I agree-you mean that we don't "deserve" anything but that it is by the grace of God that we have anything or anyone, right? Just as we are not "entitled". You are saying they are in the same vein, correct?

ME at 11:47am May 31
Yes same vein. We have everything by Grace. Nicely pointed out my friend. We can earn nothing in this life!

PP at 12:54pm May 31
I think my friend who works at McDonald's earning 7 bucks an hour would love to hear that it is gods will he lives in poverty.

DS at 4:57pm May 31
There is always somebody with less than you that has more than enough, and someone with more who is still ungrateful. It seems to me that if one can start from a place of feeling grateful and blessed for what they have, it helps keep things in perspective. I was not referring to "God's will". I don't think God cares much about whether I make $7, $70 or $700 an hour. I think he cares about what I do with my situation and how I love other people. Maybe the person who makes $70 or $700 an hour should choose to help the person who makes $7, or maybe the person who makes $7 can help the others remember what is really important. Not to mention the ones who make 7 cents an hour.

ME at 7:17pm May 31
Found this definition: Grace= undeserved favor, Gods approval.

DS at 7:23pm May 31
For me this is the "good news".

KO at 12:15am June 2
I'm with DS. So true! Thanks for sharing your insight!!!

Narcissism and Twitter

twitter= word vomiting due to loneliness sickness or a symptom of Narcissism. Nothing like feeding the NPD supply.

ES at 2:44pm May 12 v
Hey Mike...you hit that one on the head. I haven't started any of that crap because honestly who really has time to twitter all day. Hope you are well. Going back to KC this week. college reunion and all.

GW at 2:58pm May 12
So, people REALLY don't care what I am doing every minute of the day?


EH at 3:26pm May 12
LOL! I like it!

AS at 5:02pm May 12
I have to twitter about my job as part of my job. But even I do not subscribe to twitter posts because they are so disruptive! Not all social media is productive.

Life Vs Death

Until death looked better than living I don't think I understood what to have Life truly meant.

KO at 5:27pm May 11
Amen brother!!!

TV at 10:08pm May 11
Makes sense to me!

Loneliness Through Success

Under the veneer of success(ego) lurks in us all a loneliness, a loss of true connection not to whom but to something?

FF at 5:11pm May 9
The longings or desires in all our hearts lead us to temporary relief via possessions and accomplishments. But, in the end all that we are left with is love and God.

Email Teaching

Here are some of the quotes I have used over the last 2 years at the bottom of my personal emails. Just my way of sharing the light.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." - Albert Einstein

“PRIDE is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.” C.S. Lewis

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! II Corinthians 9:15

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. James 2:18

"The Desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but deep people." Richard Foster - Celebration of Discipline

We abandon the most important journey of our lives when we abandon desire. We leave our hearts by the side of the road and head off in the direction of fitting in, getting by, being productive, what have you. Whatever we might gain— money, position, the approval of others, or just absence of the discontent itself—it’s not worth it. “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” (Matt. 16:26). Journey of Desire by John Eldredge

"Children need two basic messages when they are growing up: You are loved more than you can possibly imagine, and, You are not the center of the universe." Way of the Wild at Heart by John Eldredge

A man wants to know that he is truly a man, that he could be brave; he longs to know that he is a warrior; and all his life he wonders, “Have I got what it takes?” A woman wants to know that she is truly a woman, that she is beautiful; she longs to know that she is captivating; and all her life she wonders, “Do I have a beauty to offer?” Waking the Dead by J. Eldredge

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4 NIV

Satan's Rule

"The whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one." Are you swayed? Is it easy to see how much is wrong yet breaking through to show us glimpses of heaven is joy, the light, real goodness.

LS at 10:37am May 1
No! every time a bad thought or moment comes, I pray and tell God to kick him in the tail and get him out of my head. Reach higher and look forward.

Finding Eve, Finding Adam - sermon

What Our Parents Should Of Taught US

What I am about to tell you comes from deep in my heart. It is from years of experience and how if I could do it over I would do it differently. I want you to have an unbelievable life filled with Love. In a way I know you will make a lot of mistakes like I have in trying to find love. I just hope I can make a difference and show you some of the pitfalls to avoid. I hope you know you too can find love. I pray you don’t miss it like some many people have and die without finding your true Adam/Eve. You can choose here to numb up, give into what culture is teaching you or you can embrace a different way of life. One that Jesus came to tell us about living and loving from our heart. This is the life God intended you to have. Here is what I tell my daughters and son. At the end I have written some honesty letters I hope you will use as you purse finding love.

I would do it differently but no one told me these things I am telling you. I think we as parents are afraid if we tell you our mistakes you will want to make the same ones! I doubt that. You will make different ones. I want to equip you with wisdom and tools to help you navigate life. This is really important for most of us the pain in life is from making poor choices about love because no one taught us these relationship skills early on it our lives. We just had to figure this out by trial and error.

(FOR MEN)

Young men you have tremendous power and influence over young women. They seek and want your approval which causes them to want to please you. This wanting to please you sexually is not out of love but out of the need to be accepted by you. So remember when you ask her to have sex with you that you are taking something very precious from her. You are taking part of her heart, her gift and you are trying to fit that missing rib piece. You cannot give it back to her through words or any deeds. You take a small piece of her flesh, her spirit. In my experience I live with the thought of everyone woman I have had intimate relations with and today that does not feel right in my heart.

As men we find ourselves pursuing woman with all sorts of energy and charm. We romance them. We treat them like gifts they are. This courting process is very intense and the women love it. Why do they love it? They soak it up because this is what their hearts dream about to be treated like a princess. The problem comes when we do capture their hearts, we become intimate with them then soon after when the chase is over and thrill of the capture is over we lose interest. We have conquered them got to know them intimately then something in us loses interest so we dump them. The women feel used for they ask why did he pursue me so hard then to have sex with me then he left me. Why I don’t understand I must not be good enough pretty enough, not sexy enough!! Why did we lose interest? I will submit to you all that what drives us to find Eve, to woe her, get to Know her is that innate drive to find our missing piece. I don’t care how old we are 16 or 50 this drive also about us not wanting to be truly alone. We mistakenly call this a sex drive and therefore seek to satisfy it by just a physical act. What I want you to understand that just satisfying the physical desire by using women will cause you and her much harm. You will find out that the physical act done alone with love and commitment creates a bigger need. Lust takes over you will look for more and more experiences to fill this unquenchable desire. This will lead you to high risk sex and porn. Porn will destroy your ability to be truly intimate with a woman. Porn does not require intimacy it doesn’t require you to be a man. It is false sexuality and a sin. Everything around from movies to main stream media to your friends have deceived you by telling you sex is selfish and about gratification. Seriously men this where we get our hearts into lots of trouble, this is not the way to find meaning in life. We are conditioned and rewired to have sex before we develop love and intimacy and commitment. For the most part woman have not be rewired to the extent by culture like we have. They still understand their hearts much better than we do and seek commitment, intimacy and love prior to sex. But they give in to your constant pressure because they fear they will not be like if they don’t and culture is also making them think it’s ok to give in even though their hearts and intuition cry out “NO, I don’t even really know this guy.”

Men you have a huge task in front of you and that is to rewire yourself to control your impulses, to discipline your sexual desire and energies and focus those in other places, hopefully to advance God’s kingdom. You don’t have to conquer women to be a man. You have to be careful with you strength for this ability has been give to use to not find many women but to find that ONE WOMAN your EVE. Save as much as you can for that one. Then when you have found her give her all you got. Give her the Gift of You for a life time, better yet how about for an eternity. I know I know this is a huge sacrifice I struggle with this myself. But I believe and there are men who have done this and the payoff can be more joy than you can believe or you can do it like most of us WRONG be unhappily married, unfulfilled, stressed out and miss out on finding your true EVE. She is out there just don’t settle and don’t give up until you can SAY as Adam said “this is bone of my bone flesh of my flesh”. Her are some signs you found her when your friends all say you are stupid for not marrying her soon. Then you know you have found the right one! J If your friends and family don’t like her beware. Also listen to God he will definitely help primarily through irritations. When you don’t heed the irritations God has shown you then you are doomed for troubles trust me I ignored way to many!

THE HONESTY LETTERS for men – If you could ask each new love interest you encounter after the first date to write you a letter this is what each might say. We’ll put a spell of absolute truth on them so they really tell you their thoughts. I don’t think you will need a spell but a simple pray of discernment might help. These are three letters the first from the HURTING SARA, the second the POPULAR JANE, the third from SWEET HEART let’s call her your Eve. I hope these help you identify the right men to date.

Letter 1

Dear Adam:

I am HURTING SARA. I have a lot of problems and I am depressed most of the time because the mistakes and choices I have made early in my life. I don’t feel safe or right if I am not with a man. I go from one relationship to the next. I hate being alone. I had sex when I was 14 with a guy that was 18. He dumped me after he had sex with me. He said I was too immature. I like to party and drink vodka, it takes away my worries. My parents don’t understand me and pretty much leave me alone. They don’t care when I come home at night. Most of my problems are not my fault. I really don’t enjoy sex, but I will do it to please you, so you will stay around. I wear sexy cloths to get attention. School is a drag. I am not involved in much it just a waste of time. I hope you think I am pretty because my self esteem is really low. You need to tell me I am pretty all the time. Sometimes I think I don’t want to live. Please don’t ever leave me, I don’t know what I would do without you.

Sincerely, HURTING SARA
Letter 2

Dear Adam:

My name is POPULAR JANE. I am so busy that I may not have much time to spend with you. I am captain of the dance team. I play soccer on two teams and I take piano and I am in honors everything. Forgot to tell you I am in two after school clubs. I have lots of friends who admire me for how beautiful I am and that I have a new convertible. I want to be upfront, life is about me and what you can do for me. So you need to be the perfect boyfriend and make me look good at all times. I expect you to be romantic especially in how you ask me to parties. I want all the others girls to be jealous of me, how you show me you like me. I love gifts especially jewelry. I don’t like your friends their stupid, so don’t expect me to hang out with you and them all together. I go to church with my parents and church is cool, but I just don’t get it, however it's great place to hang out with friends and be seen.

If we are to someday get married, I will be very expensive to take care, so you should want to make a lot of money. You know I am my daddy’s little princess. I really don’t want to work that is for other people. And one of my pet peeves is that you are not to roll down the windows in your car when I am with you because it will mess my hair up that took me 2 hours to straighten this morning. Oh, I almost forgot I love to talk on the phone, but don’t go deep with me I hate that and that is not what life’s about anyway. Got to go, lots to do, people to see and talk to!

Lots of Love, POPULAR JANE

Letter 3

Dear Adam:

My name is Eve. Our first date was amazing I have never talked to man like you. You are so honest and open. It was so cool you took me to that lookout tower to see the city lights and just to talk to me and get to know me. It was nice on the 2nd date you asked to hold my hand. I just wanted you to know, I really want to wait until I am married to have sex. If that bothers you I understand most boys dump me when they hear that. I kind of think that’s all young men want these days. I hope you’re different. I am very active at church and volunteering my free time at the homeless shelter once a month. I want to study psychology in college so I can work with kids who have mental disorders. My parents are pretty cool and are proud of whom I am. My Dad is really protective so beware. Also, my brother’s look out for me, but I asked them about you and they said you were ok to date. Trust is a big deal for me in a relationship. I will always tell you the truth. I have a lot to give to the man I love. I want to make sure we are friends even if this doesn’t work out between us. I look forward to getting to know you. Thanks for the great first two dates.

Love, Eve


(FOR WOMEN)

I need you to be careful for you hold a power over men you might not understand today. Most of you know this already. God created you as the crowning touch of His creation giving you beauty not only physically but in your whole being. You can stir in men a deep desire for union, for sex. Be careful how you stir them. The clothes you wear the things you say and the touches you give them. These are all signals men process without you knowing it. I don’t think you realize they want more from you than I think most of you want to give. You are equipped differently than men. You are much more in tune with your heart. You sense the Holy Spirit presence in you. Some call it intuition. It is that knowing at a different level than that of the mind. Your inner wisdom and life experiences are just not enough to deal with the longing and desires of your heart. This is what makes your young age so dangerous to your heart. I have seen the most deep and life altering wounds come to women when they are in their teens and early twenties. This is the time when you need to seriously guard your hearts. Most often than not these wounds come because your hearts lead you to what you thought was love and commitment and it wasn’t it.

When love is new it is intoxicating. It feels like nothing could ever go wrong with this. Your right it is beautiful, it is freeing, it is how God wants us to love him and the way He loves us. He gave it to you for a reason to draw you closer to your Adam. However, to develop real love and intimacy it takes time not 2 weeks 2 month but most often years. Not only does it take time, it takes work to know someone intimately. Trust is core and we can only trust another completely as we see how they act, how talk, how these men treat you. A woman friend said to me something that is so true, “everything will be found out sooner or later.” Meaning we need time to know someone deeply before we commit our secrets to them.

Let’s talk about what a good man is about. Let’s set the standards high, for the quest is for your Adam. No halfway, no substitute, no giving in! First a man is about the truth. No half truths no white lies. He is only as good as his word. If he can’t keep his word to you or others get rid of him. This you should not budge on. This is the basis for trust in a relationship. Next is loyalty. He is with you completely or no relationship. If he constantly looking around at other women and not focused on you then this one has to go. Hear this YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN OR DOMESTICATE HIM. NOT your job let a half dozen other women take a try at. Let them realized whose really in control that is God. Advice: A man’s mission in life is not to make your life easier. He and you will need his mission in life to be something bigger. He needs the freedom and encouragement to give and make this a better world and push the Kingdom forward. Let him go fight the war then come back to your love. Give him a safe place to rest from his mission. Encourage him and he will prosper and provide you more love if let him do this.

Why we like bad boys!!!

God will communicate and guide you in this adventure to find your Adam. God’s communications will always be there to assist you. You just have to learn to listen. He loves to help primarily with irritating you. When something bugs you, causes pain your heart or just doesn’t feel right this is Him telling to open your eyes and act. If you ignore His help then for sure you will suffer. Sometimes you might have to suffer in the short term to avoid a major heart break later on. I can tell you I missed countless communications from God and rationalized those irritations away pushed them down to only have them re-appear later as catastrophes.

God has given you beauty, given you the ability to give life, He has given you a heart to share with the world. The world needs you in your full capacity. God made our bodies for one other person to give as a gift to each other as way of expressing love. Sex is the means by which we ultimately express that love. It is a giving up of our most inner secret and gift. It is the total expression of who we are. It is a tying of our spirit to another person. It is an act of rejoining not only with a man but with God. It is a place where you reveal your heart totally. Sex without love wounds our hearts it reduces this love act to physical release robbing your heart of its true need and that is being so connected to another man it creates a temporary heaven on earth, a safe place that no one else can enter no one else can destroy that no one else can understand but you two. It is truly life’s meaning and secret. Please contemplate in your heart before you give this gift to a man. Before you give him your gift for it is not much of a gift you have given the same thing to a handful of other men. I know deep in your hearts that you want to save and protect this for your Adam, your last lover.

THE HONESTY LETTERS for women – If you could ask each new love interest you encounter after the first date to write you a letter this is what each might say. We’ll put a spell of absolute truth on them so they really tell you their thoughts. I don’t think you will need a spell but a simple pray of discernment might help. These are three letters the first from the BAD BOY, the second the SELFISH JOCK, the third from GOOD YOUNG MAN let’s call him your Adam. I hope these help you identify the right men to date.

Letter 1

Dear Eve:

My name is BAD BOY. I graduated last year and I am not sure college is right for me. I am a lot of fun. I like to push life to max. I am dangerous. I take risks I probably shouldn’t. I really can’t stand my parents they don’t understand me. I like to get drunk and sometimes smoke pot. Again I like to live life to the fullest. Sex is important to me because its fun and feels good. I hope you like sex because I expect it and the sooner the better. I have had lots of girlfriends some call me a player. I am popular and good looking as you know. Life is about what I can get from it. I have a fast car in which I like to push to the limits, probably not so safe at times. I really don’t want to meet your dad but if you make me I will. My friends will say bad things about you if you try to make me no fun. I will tell you what I what you want to hear so I can get what I want. I don’t like your friends, they talk too much. Why do you like your parents? You’re too emotional. So it’s really about me you should know that and as long as I get what I want I will keep you around. Love who needs love lets just have fun and not be serious.

See you Saturday night, meet me a Ben’s party. I will get some alcohol for you. See if you can spend the night at a friend’s where you can stay out late! Your parents are too strict. Got to go!

Bad Boy
Letter 2
Dear Eve:

My name is SELFISH JOCK. I am the stud running back on the football team and I lettered when I was a sophomore. I live in that real expensive neighborhood just down the street from the school. You should come over to check it out. I got a new porche for my birthday last year because I got better than a “C” average on my report card. Let’s get things started right in this relationship. I want you to look good when you’re with me. That’s right I have an image to up hold. I only date the pretty most popular girls. Don’t be embarrassed if I tell all my buddies about our relationship and especially the sex part. Man they love to hear how good I am. My parents think I hung the moon and that I do nothing wrong. I like to drink but not during football can’t risk a MIP, coach would bench me for sure. I will meet your dad and act like a gentleman so you can be rest assured too that your mom will love my charm, my nice guy approach always works. Why do you talk so much? That bugs me a lot. I don’t like prudes are you one? Why do you spend so much time at church? Isn’t it boring? Do your parents make you go? Don’t ask me to go I will feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to get to serious, just serious enough to have sex with you. My friends are more important than you. If I start blowing you off and not paying attention to you then that’s a sign I don’t want to date you anymore. I am trying to let you down easy so you will not be hurt. I have a hard time being honest and I am not sure what I want in a woman, so if I change my mind you will have to guess.

See ya soon, SELFISH JOCK

Letter 3

Dear Eve:

My name is Adam and I had a great time with you over the past two dates. Our conversations were amazing. I love that you go to church and are passionate about helping people. I like your smile it lights up the room. I can listen to you talk all night, sorry about the late night calls but it so nice to go to bed knowing that I met a really cool girl. I have to be honest having sex is really risky you know with pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases! If any of that happened it would really change my life. I really hope you want to wait too. I really want to give you a kiss so when you’re ready please let me know. It was nice that your dad is so worried about you when he talked to me before our first date. What a good dad you have that is awesome and makes me feel better about who you are. Your mom invited me to dinner next week that sounds like fun to get to know them better. I hope your brother likes me. I am looking forward to getting to know you. If I ever make you feel upset or something goes wrong between us I hope you know that you can tell me anything and I will not judge you.

As you know my work, school and my passion for soccer are important to me. But I want you to know you are important too. I would really enjoy you watching me play and I so want to see you dance. As I told you on the first date I am a pretty private and trust is important. You are amazing thanks for giving me a chance to get to know you.

Sincerely, Adam


Can you tell the different perspective on life each of these young men have? See how the focus should be on you? Do you feel the heart of the Adam letter? I pray that God gives you the ability to discern with your heart the truth. Let us remember the words Paul used in letter to the Corinthians about Love. If there is a passage ever to keep with you it is this:

1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Corinthians 12 The Message)

It is also important to know what love and life is not so we turn to Galatians 5:

16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

I want to leave you with a challenge. Your parents have been through all this themselves. Maybe not the exactly the same way you are going through things but I bet if you seek their knowledge and wisdom they will open up a wealth of wisdom that you can surely use. I know it’s difficult to talk to them about these things it may be tough to start but be persistant and keeping an open heart will help you develop a new rapport with them. Remember something in them doesn’t want to tell you the mistakes and bad decisions they made because they think it will be a license for you to make those same ones. Because they drank at an early age doesn’t give you the right either. They probably don’t want to tell you all the icky details of their mistakes either just don’t judge them for their own mistakes it has made them who they are and that’s why you love them. Most young people I know don’t want to make the mistakes of their parents. They want to be better people to have more joy and love and less pain.

We all learn best from Story. It is why the bible is a collection of thousands of stories otherwise called parables. We all have a story to tell even at your age. In the end the choices you make are yours to live with forever. The ones you make now will affect you the rest of your story. The question is what story do you want to tell your kids in the future good ones or bad ones?

A Gift of My Self - sermon

Introduction
I want to take you on an adventure of our hearts. This great adventure is about discovering how we can as both physical and spiritual beings find the meaning in our lives. We will look at the origins of our sexuality driven by our strong desire to be know and become one with another person. We’ll see that love and serving each other is at the foundation to finding our meaning. This is not a “don’t do it” speech on sex, it is at its core, a rediscovery of the language and longings of our hearts. When we submit in service to each others heart, God's gift of intimacy appears. A gift God wants us to make to others and in particular our spouse. If we learn to make ourselves a gift of love, we may just find the true meaning to life in a very special way.

Open your hearts, free your mind of what culture has or is telling you. Let the Lord Jesus speak to you in this talk for where you are at today and for what you need. In this brief time with you I hope I can re-tell a story of God’s romance. The beauty of his original plan for us is truly his most special gift to us. It is up to you to discover what this looks like for your life. This romantic adventure will take trust, it will take solitude, and it will take much suffering of the heart. It will for sure ask you to die in some respects to things you thought you needed and understood about your physicality. I do promise you this for I have experienced it myself, there is no greater joy than loving someone with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength (paraphrased Luke 10:27). For this is the love God has for us. He wants us to know what 100% surrendered in love feels like, so we will love him in the same way. He gave us the gift of our body as a means to express his love.

You will find not all the answers, but a starting point to look at your own desires to be in relations with another. I give this as a gift from my own experiences and with a lot of help from Lord, who has put a fire in my heart to tell a different story. A radically different story, totally opposite from the story of the world around us which teaches us to be consumers/takers of that sex and intimacy for our own selfishness.

Much of what I contemplate comes out of reflections on marriage and my diligent search for meaning in my past marriages. It also comes out of the many wounds I gave woman with my selfishness pursuit of satisfying my own needs. But it is joy which I have felt that really drives me to show you the truth of God’s gift. I want you to know what true love is and how it works into our sexuality. This sexuality when combined with love is the closest thing we can know of what heaven will be like. It is one of the greatest forms of worship we can offer Jesus. In this talk I will totally depend upon God’s word in the Bible, along with a lot of help and direction from Pope John II sermons on the Theology of the Body. His sermons on this subject are a beautiful analysis of Genesis and Jesus’ Gospel about male and female relationships. I want to thank Christopher West for his summaries of John Paul’s work. It is revolutionary in its message. I encourage to read more of Mr. West's work. It will deepen and change your marriage.

The Fall – The Case for Sex Gone Wrong
The teachings of our culture and times tell us that sex is a selfish act made just for our own pleasure. It tells us we don’t need love to have great sex, we just need perfect bodies, the right perfume/cologne, a beer or the best clothes and you will get more sex. They also beat into us that sexual performance makes us who we are it defines our worth to society. Men are condition to be like race horses expected to give women unbelievable mountain top sexual experiences. For women it is being the perfect sex toy, with the perfect body, the best clothes to attract a man.

Men are ranked by other men on how many women they can conquer. Sex becomes a sport to use women for our own pleasures. Women are forced into pleasing men to be accepted or to keep a boyfriend by how well sexually they perform. Sex is everywhere because our culture instinctively knows its power. It has made sex into a selfish act far from the selfless act of giving our bodies as a gift to that special person we love. Evil twisted our inner most prized gift from God. God wants us to have it back not by controlling us to do so but out of loving us, giving us the freedom to reclaim his gift. For it is out of choice that love can be found. We must choose to be a gift to each other once again if we are ever to experience the original unity and deep connected love again.

When we have sex with another person before the establishment of love and commitments or any emotional depth, our heart senses the emptiness and lack of the all important foundation of love. We become confused about love because sex and nakedness of our souls and hearts came before love. Repeated like this sex becomes mechanical and purely a physical release and not the way God intended it to be. Our intuition tells us even when we are young for sex in this capacity never lives up to what culture or our friends tell us. So we search for better ways to experience sex like using sex toys, pornography, different sexual positions, and multiple partners to find that ecstasy that is so promised.

Making love (sex) is not about sex toys, positions, pornography, or whatever aberrations we can dream up. When we invite God into this place we have no need for all those tricks and gimmicks. Wrapped in each other’s arms, skin to skin, face to face, breath to breath, warm lips together, peering into each other’s eyes finding that complete intimacy and making a place for God and praising and loving him for this gift. Now that is making love. Sex any other way is letting satan use you for his pleasure which will lead to heart ache and dysfunction.

Researchers have known for a long time that teenage sexual activity and depression are linked. In a publication by (Smith and Denton pg21) Teenagers get depressed when they cannot understand the physical, emotional and spiritual loss that happens when the act of intimacy(sex) is not done out of love.

We use sex like a drug to make us feel good for a period of time but like alcohol we do experience not only physical hangovers but also spiritual and emotional ones to. Sex is a temporary escape from this world and like any other escape mechanism some become addicted to it just like drugs and alcohol. This is why we are seeing pornography become so destructive for it gives us sex without love and without another person. It requires nothing of us, it is an illusion and will lead to addiction.

“Addiction is the most powerful psychic enemy of humanity’s desire for God,” says Gerald May in Addiction and Grace, which is no doubt why it is one of our adversary’s favorite ways to imprison us. Once taken captive, trying to free ourselves through willpower is futile. Only God’s Spirit himself can free us or even bring us to our senses.

The "heart" has become a battlefield between love and lust, habitually threatening the meaning of the body. As John Paul says, because of man's disordered passions, "The human body in its masculinity and femininity has almost lost the capacity of expressing this love in which the person becomes a gift…" (General Audience 7/23/80).

How did sex get so twisted? Let us know look at what sin did to our original state of the male female union. How has evil and culture misdirected God’s original design. This starts back in the Garden of Eden in Chapter 3 of Genesis

2 The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "

4 "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. 5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"

10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

Here the evil serpent convinces us not to trust God that we too can know good and evil. We can know what God knows but this taught us to grasp after God’s likeness instead of receiving it as a gift. All of a sudden we now see our nakedness, our flaws or inadequacies. We hide from God, we hide from each other. God looks for us, we are ashamed and this begins our fall from our original creation. This falling away continues we now grasp on to our original unity and nakedness. Out of this grasping the roots of lust come forward. We try to control and posses the opposite sex for out of fear of losing him/her of being alone and in some respects being found out. We find it really difficult to be totally naked again with each other. This is meant by the fall. The falling away from who we really are. Let us now try to find our way back.

Original Man before the Fall (How we were meant to be)

We have to go way back when God created Adam and Eve to understand God’s original plan for us as man and woman. Here we will find some clues how we were originally created and what life was like for the first couple. We will also see what God asked of them and what gifts he gave them.

There are two accounts of our creation in Genesis. It is important to note the first two accounts describe man and woman before sin. This is very important to the story because we have fallen away from the pure goodness of God’s original plan which is perfect unity of man and woman. Also I want to point out that Jesus who is the only man both of Divine and Flesh whose words offer us a direct understanding on how God wants us to live. Lets us begin with Jesus pointing us back to “THE BEGINNING” in Matthew 19 where we hear Jesus being questioned by Pharisees when they asked him about divorce. He refers them back to man and woman’s perfect unity “that in the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' God’s intention for us was to be in pure relationship or to have a perfect union

26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
Genesis 1:26-28 NIV

So we read here that God created us IN HIS IMAGE and in His Likeness. So we are physical but yet more than physical. We have a likeness to God who is spirit and who is love 1 John 4:18 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. NIV

He gave us rule over all the animals. He also created us male and female. He did not describe the animals in this manner. We know ourselves that we are much different than the animals, we posses His image therefore the image of Love. Also if we have his image our bodies must reflect Him in some way. So we must conclude that we can come to know God through our physical body. He also blessed us and not the animals. Again God differentiates us from the animals by blessing us. So this gave us a spiritual quality and creates a great mystery for we know we are more than just physical matter but like God in what way?

We can look further into how we are different than the animals by what God tells us next in Genesis 2:7

7 the LORD God formed the man [a] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Here God gives us the breath of life. The Hebrew word (nÿshamah, “breath”) is used for God and for the life imparted to humans, not animals. Its usage in the Bible conveys more than a breathing living organism. Whatever is given this breath of life becomes animated with the life from God, has spiritual understanding.(from the NETBible)

God’s breathes life into us. In some early traditions people did not speak name of God. To utter his name was too holy. God’s name in Hebrew was Y H V H which we would pronounce Yod, Heh, Vav, Hah which when we say it, it sounds like the rhythm of our own breathing. Is the name of God the sound of our breathing? (Rob Bell in Nooma: Breathe) So God is our breath without it we die without God we die.

Now that we have a foundation of being spiritual beings made in the image of God we can start to dive into the origins of our sexuality by further examining the next details that follow in this 2nd account of the creation.

18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." 19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

So Adam named all the animals and realizes he was alone in the world as a person different from the animals. He knew he couldn’t love the animals so he felt alone in complete solitude. This alone feeling is something we all feel. We fear it, we hate this feeling, we cannot live without being in communion with others to find another to love and be loved back drives our inner most desires. To not be alone means to be in communion with another to be in love and be loved in return. This brings us back to what we identified early that God is Love. John Paul II concludes “Love is, therefore, man's origin, vocation, and end.”

So God says “it is not good for the man” to not have someone to Love and to have Love in, so God’s solution is create someone who he can love, so he creates someone that embodies His beauty and is the final touch on His creation this He called woman.

21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

John Paul II points out in a footnote that the word "rib" in the original biblical language is a play on the word "life" (General Audience 11/7/79). Woman comes from the life of a man. The man now has a missing a piece that rib that God removed to make woman holds a very special role. So a man longs to replace his missing piece and a woman longs to find a man to give her piece back to; the man she came from. This desire to find each other to replace the piece is our deepest desire. It is so strong and at our core that it drives almost everything we do in life. Next we hear Adam cry out what we all would love to say when we find our missing piece.
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'
for she was taken out of man." Genesis 2:23

As the Pope explains, "there is no doubt that man falls into that 'sleep' with the desire of finding a being like himself. In this way, the circle of the solitude of the man-person is broken, because the first 'man' awakens from his sleep as 'male and female'" (General Audience 11/7/79). Immediately the man declares: "At last this one is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." That is to say, "Finally, a person with whom I can share the gift of life. Finally, a person I can love!"

So we see here that God has given us the Gift of Life and in that he provided everything we need to know Him and to love and be loved by another person. Now that we have another to love how are we to Love? How are we to find it? How are we to know what love really is? When are we ready to do this? Let us try to answer these by looking into this Gift of Love and this ultimate reunion.

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (NIV)

For God tells us that we are to leave our parents. Are you ready to leave your parents? This is when God and most traditions tell us we are ready to be married to take a spouse in marriage to be reunited in one flesh. This God says signals our readiness for becoming one in flesh with our Adam or our Eve a reuniting of the flesh in holy sex and nakedness.

What does becoming one flesh mean? Is this not a better word for sex “one flesh”? As we unite our flesh in this holy reunion, God lets us go back to how he created us “in the beginning” pure in heart the world disappears around us for a brief amount of time bringing us to the place where we feel as one. This is total relief from our feeling of solitude and it must be the ultimate expression of love. For God made it so enjoyable nothing else in our physical life can match this experience for this is not sex as talked about by culture but it is the true act of making love. So special it is only here that God lets us co-create another human being with His help. In the act of making love we come face to face with each other naked bringing only our bodies to each other as a gift.

The Second Vatican Council teaches us, "man can only find himself by making a sincere gift of himself" (Gaudium et Spes n. 24). So with our bodies, in and through our sexuality, that we realize we are called to give ourselves to one another as a gift. Thus, John Paul can say, "we are convinced of the fact that the awareness of the body’s capacity to show love is the fundamental element of human existence in the world" (General Audience 1/16/80).

In this brief encounter of the flesh and spirit we replace the missing piece within us, thus completing what was once lost long ago. We get to relive part of God’s creation story in the intimate act of making love. Do you not see the power, the awesomeness of it? Is it no wonder that God makes our sex drive the most powerful thing in the universe? Can anyone name something we all think about more in common or more often than sex? The missing piece may be the root of our internal sexual drive not only to create new life but to replace this missing piece. How else do we describe where this urge or need comes from? We don’t know what drives us so passionately and strongly but this need/urge does not go away until we have been reunited with our own Adam or Eve, who holds our missing piece. Our hearts long for each other to dive deeply into the purely intimate act of rejoining and becoming one again with each other. For God wants this union to be a special one, one out of His love.

When this rejoining is wrapped in Love, it brings with it a filling up of our hearts. We feel gratitude, amazement, and joy or better put ecstasy that something so wonderful could feel this good. Webster’s dictionary defines ecstasy as “rapture from the contemplation of divine things”. Don’t you think our divine creator God wants us to have a divine contemplation of the eternal life with Him? Maybe it’s through this uniting of our hearts in the act of sex that God whispers into our hearts this secret that so many of us fail to hear. Once you have really listened to Him and have heard the secret you so would love to tell everyone, but you just cannot find the human words to express it. It is such a big secret God wants us to keep it safe within the context of marriage and not to share it with just a random person. It is so deep and profound, to share it with an acquaintance or friend would be reducing sex to a physical act of pleasure much like drinking a glass of water when you’re thirsty or eating your favorite food. Is not sex so much more than just satisfying a bodily function or controlling a selfish need?

We see that in our original sexuality that at the end of Genesis 2 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

When we find that true love, that piece, and become the truest gift to each other we feel no shame being completely naked knowing each other so intimately that we have nothing to hide from each other. Trust each other with each other’s Gift of Life.

Let’s look at how Moses describes sex in Genesis 4:25 using a few different translation of the Bible.
NKJV - And Adam knew his wife again, and she bore
NIV – And Adam lay with his wife again, and she gave birth
NLT - Adam had sexual relations with his wife again, and she gave birth
NET- And Adam had marital relations with his wife again, and she gave

In the Hebrew language the word for sexual relations was the word YADA defined as TO KNOW. Is this the first man and woman knew each other thus not feeling any shame. Can you imagine having a friend someone so close to you that you are ashamed of anything to tell them or show them? I find this at the core of why I don’t just have sex and intimacy with just any woman. For me and for most of my life even in my teens and twenties when I was single I knew I did not want to share my gift with just anyone. Does anyone feel that too? You don’t have t answer that out loud but answer that in your heart sometime.

Conclusion and Benediction

If we are to live according to the original capacity of our body’s ability to express love and thus "fulfill the very meaning of his being and existence," we must win the battle in our hearts over lust. We must come to see the body, once again, as the revelation of the eternal mystery of God (cf. General Audience 3/18/81).

I hope this truth of the Bible sets your hearts free from what culture and evil are trying to tell you about sex. You have been duped no longer. God created our bodies so we could show our spouses the sacrificial gift of Love through the union our bodies becoming “one flesh.” We must look at our body as a temple to God for we were made in His image. Our sexuality is so strong and powerful that God made it this way so we wouldn’t miss the purpose of it. The Bible is a guide to a great romance that God invites us to. It’s for sure not a legal document. The Bible uses marital love as analogy more than any other example to help us understand God’s eternal plan for us.

If we live in accordance to what God is telling us and has revealed through our bodies we will fulfill the very meaning of our lives and that is to Love. Jesus primary commandment was and is “Love one another as I have loved you” John 15:12. Jesus gave his physical body up for us for the forgiveness of Sin from our falling away from real union. On the cross he died a physical death as the ultimate gift to us. He showed us the power of giving ourselves as a gift, for his gift was to all of us. In his Resurrection he defeated evil and showed us a way back to “THE BEGINNING”. His way of life will restore our sexuality to the way it was meant to be before the Fall. It is why He came.

I challenge you to find your Adam or Eve when you are ready to embrace God’s will for marriage and sexuality as a gift. Be careful it is not much of a gift to the one you want to spend eternity with if you have given it to 10 others prior. Go out from here knowing that God wants you to have His gift all you have to do is open your hearts and wait. I leave you with this promise from God in 1 Corinthians 2:9-10

No one's ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it—
What God has arranged for those who love him.

References:

Man and Women He Created Theology of the Body by John Paul II (translated by Michael Waldstein)

The Pope’s Theology of the Body by Christopher West 2001

Nooma – Breathe by Rob Bell

Biblical verses from the New Internal Version