Angst: strong worry and unhappiness, especially about personal problems (Cambridge Dictionary)
I have noticed a common sense of “angst” that cuts across almost all of us. There is a sense that life is not what we thought it would be like. There seems to be an undercurrent, especially in those rare times when we truly quiet our minds and assess the status of our hearts. We check in on our hearts and it whispers to us that familiar notion, “I was made for more than I am living; Am I not a king or princess?” We wonder where our life went astray. This sense we are not living out our true purpose. Ask anyone this question and I will bet a “yes” or a blank look as their mind quickly assess if honesty is the best response to keep their facade of “life is good” going.
This noticing of ourselves I believe is a nudge from God who made us in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27). God’s image is not shown in our failures or shortcomings. For He created each one of us that we might live a life that glorifies Him (1 Corinthians 10:31)(Isaiah 43:6-7). If God is love (1 John 4:18) and we are His image bearers then our true selves must reflect His love. Love is patience, kind, doesn’t envy, never boastful or conceited, nor rude and never selfish (1 Corinthians 13:4). These are expressed in our compassion, friendship, truthfulness, intimacy, and giving up ourselves for the benefit of others which in turn glorifies God. These actions reflect His nature and our natural self before the Fall of our parents; Adam and Eve.
However, our image is marred by evil. Evil is the thoughts and actions which take us away from glorifying God. The evil has taken hold in each of our hearts because we, like our original parents chose to rely on our own abilities and not of our creator who made us for His purpose. This going away from God’s purpose is the definition of being a sinner. We are totally depraved in the presence of God (Romans 3:9-18) and not worthy of His grace, which He gives to us freely out of no act on our behalf (Genesis 6:5). Yes, I said trying to be good is not what our salvation and our predestined royalty is about. All sin has its roots, very simply, in lying to ourselves, others, and God. This, my friends, is what is keeping us individually and collectively in “angst”. We are constantly fed a stream of lies by evil, the ruler of earth and our culture (Matthew 4:7-10). Evil whispers in our ears that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy of anything that is good. This pervasive doubt is why we don’t believe in heaven, for evil has convinced us that there is no such place. So out of this lie and doubt/unbelief, we try to be our own god (little “g”) and create heaven on earth.
We do a pretty good job at creating this false heaven; the heaven on earth I call the “American Dream”. We wall ourselves off to anything that is not comfortable or easy. We worship earthly success over Godliness, for we have become creators and controllers of our own destiny. Any of us who have lived long enough or have been broken realize that we have no control over our existence, life just happens to us. We are so mired in the busyness and mess of our lives we cannot step back and understand the larger story of our lives. It takes being broken to understand, we control nothing. It is the greatest lie the enemy to life tell us; that we can control our lives. We erect these walls out of fear of losing control, for if someone else is truly driving, where will He take us? He may just take us out of our comfort zone.
Most of daily existence is lived in this fear that is outside our walls. These are specially built walls which we think protects us. These visible and invisible walls are constructed in our minds by our beliefs in materialism and consumerism, and is re-enforced by bad behavior modification/suppression (religion) and painted by a pretty coat of numbness. In order to keep our walls up, we must oppress the rest of the planet by hording its resources. Once in a while we peak over the walls and see a broken world that we know needs our help! We look at the wall and tell ourselves “it’s too high, I can’t go over there it’s not safe, and/or I really can’t make a difference in what’s going on over there.” This “looking over the wall” adds to our angst and fear.
I have learned that behavior modification or better put using our own will to try to suppress our evil sinful ways, will only last for short stints, and then our wickedness returns shortly, followed by the guilt of having regressed and failed. This guilty knowing reveals itself in our angst. This behavior modification/suppression is what Religion teaches us and is why most of us at some point left the church and God to get away from the burden of guilt. Jesus spoke of this burden that the religion lays upon their congregations (Matthew 23:1-4) describes why so many don’t want to go to church.
The root of the problem is that culture/evil tells us to love ourselves MORE at the cost of others. This is not the commandment Jesus tells us to live by. He commands us to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves equally (Luke 10:26–28). Jesus commands us to love. Commandments are calls to action, something we do. Therefore, it is not a warm fuzzy feeling He asks us to find in ourselves, but a call to action. Maybe the way out of the guilt and the way to truly live is to look at the root of the problem and that is, who and how should we be loving? We all know the prevailing wisdom set forth by almost all the self help authors. They tell us to love ourselves and to strive for improving ourselves over the call to improve/help others. The message is “get what you want in life by taking it.” Looking at any magazine stand will give anyone a great snap shot on what dozens of so called experts want to tell you and I how to improve ourselves, thus resulting in a more joyful life. If this knowledge of self improvement is so easy, so accessible, and widely read/heard, shouldn’t it be self-evident that our culture is continuing to grow happier and happier, thus each generation is more joyful than the last? I don’t think the state of the world and the American family point to any such reasoning or that the success of these messages is having on us.
In my late teens and twenties, I too fell victim to these self-help shamans, who peddled these false ways. They spoke of prosperity and those things that come with it; fame, fortune, contentment, and safety. I drank the Kool Aide and became drunk on its promises. At some point in my thirties, I had attained everything they spoke of. I had won, or at least I thought. But deep inside there was this gaping hole of discontentment and angst. I tried to ignore it. I did a really good job of keeping my life busy and numb mostly by buying man toys and searching for the next river or outdoor adventure or business to conquer. The walls were doing a good job of keeping me from being able to see myself for what I was made to be. Then God made His will for me evident. He began to break those walls down around me. He took away my prosperity and what He revealed was a man who wanted to love and be loved (John 1:12-13). I began to feel and to have emotions. I now see people not for what they can do for me, but how can I know them and love them with my gifts (John 3:3). My heart and eyes opened to a whole new reality, like going from black/white TV to HDTV. This new way of seeing/feeling life is now filled with a whole range of experiences, from seeing pure evil, pain, suffering, brokenness to joy in finding love and seeing my son smile when he senses my approval, seeing brokenness restored, and all the while watching how God works out His will in others. It is a wild ride my friends. Nothing like I thought life would be like, but at times a sense of content rolls over me. Not often enough but the angst is still there!
I now know the angst feeling is God telling me that He has much more for me beyond this earthly life. He wants me to take my talents and my prosperity and give to those who have been disadvantage by geography, society, government, and economics. I will use this angst, not spur myself onto acquiring more things or in the pursuit if self actualization, but as God’s prodding me to take the gifts and wealth He has entrusted me with and spread it to those that are in need. It also pushes me to tell my story so that others can identify their angst and the hole in their hearts, in hopes they may too find a life worth living in high definition.
We are not alone in this angst and we are not without a guide, a Sheppard (John 10:10-11). Angst connects us all to God’s promise and His will. We just have to love Him and others by taking up our cross (Mark 8:34) and following Jesus for He came to show us the way. By loving others, our action(commandment) of love changes other’s lives for the better and not by sheer coincidence it give us Life and stores rewards for us in Heaven for eternity. Jesus said "for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:36-36)
May your angst nudge you back towards becoming the man/woman God designed you to be. My hope is you realize, that you are not in control, and that you were made for more. When angst arises it is the holy spirit, your intuition; a helper that Jesus put in the hearts of us all, which guides us to reclaim our true image (John 14:16-18). The answer is contained in our hearts, and by having faith, you and I will work out our way to God by following Jesus and not the ways of culture. Your heart is good. Let others see it. It contains your true image. This journey of the heart will hurt for their will be much suffering in giving up ourselves. Life/Salvation does not come cheaply. Live in angst, but do not ignore it.
I love you all more than you know.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Finding a Woman; Our Missing Rib
To My Son Dean –
If I only knew these things when I was young it would of saved me great heartache and loneliness. It is these words from God’s I share with you so that one day you and I may truly find a good Godly woman. Takes these words to heart, I do. For God has promised the following woman to me. He has made you the same promise. Many will try to capture your goodness and your love for Jesus. Women will use their beauty and emotional power to win your heart but I implore you to seek God’s council in His Word. I am beside you and will guide you also the best I can. For our Eve awaits us and that is great news.
God as Mom writes: "Oh, son of mine, what can you be thinking of! Child whom I bore! The son I dedicated to God! Don't dissipate your virility on fortune-hunting women, promiscuous women who shipwreck leaders.
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.
Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
Proverbs 31 The Message (emphasis added)
In Service, Dad
If I only knew these things when I was young it would of saved me great heartache and loneliness. It is these words from God’s I share with you so that one day you and I may truly find a good Godly woman. Takes these words to heart, I do. For God has promised the following woman to me. He has made you the same promise. Many will try to capture your goodness and your love for Jesus. Women will use their beauty and emotional power to win your heart but I implore you to seek God’s council in His Word. I am beside you and will guide you also the best I can. For our Eve awaits us and that is great news.
God as Mom writes: "Oh, son of mine, what can you be thinking of! Child whom I bore! The son I dedicated to God! Don't dissipate your virility on fortune-hunting women, promiscuous women who shipwreck leaders.
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.
Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
Proverbs 31 The Message (emphasis added)
In Service, Dad
Monday, October 26, 2009
Mocking His Marriage Covenant
My Friends-
We call ourselves men and women who love Christ but we fear not the wrath of Him who will judge us. We take His laws and covenants and make a mockery of them my disobeying them. God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift and to protect us from evil. He gave us the 10 commandments because He loves us and new we need rules to keep us safe and closer to him. Covenants, like the laws are to protect us from evil and to make us pleasing to God. We have answered the question "Why we are here?" for it is only and truly only to glorify our Jesus. Yet we take these laws and covenants and break them as we see fit to make ourselves happy. We rationalize our the circumstances that surround our disobedience and justify our breaking of His laws/covenants. How would it go over in a court of law if we explained to the judge that “Judge, I was just speeding 120 mph in a 65 mph zone because it made me happy and felt good.” The Judge would laugh and say “Son, the laws are in place to protect you and the good of all. I don’t care it made you feel good. I find you guilty of breaking the law.” I say to you “is not Jesus going to judge us rightly for those laws and covenants we broke?”
There are two separate judgments outlined in the Bible. We will be judged at the Judgment Seat of Christ (Romans 14:10-12). Every believer will give an account of himself/herself, and the Lord will judge the decisions he/she made—including those concerning issues of conscience. This judgment does not determine salvation, which is by faith alone (Ephesians 2:8-9), but rather is the time when believers must give an account of their lives in service to Christ.
God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift. The gift was given to us for God knew we were lonely and we needed a helper (Genesis 2:18). You and I have taken this gift and have done things with it that has made God very angry. We have defiled and used this gift for our own pleasures and sometimes at the expense of another person’s judgment day. I am referring to having sex outside of marriage. Sex or better put becoming “one flesh”(Mark 10:8) was a sign or an ongoing ratification of the marriage covenant. Nowhere in the bible does it speak to sex as a gift for our enjoyment outside being married. We must avoid all fornication(sex outside of marriage) 1 Corinthians 4:2 and it is the only sin we can do against our own body(1Corinthians 6:18) which is a temple of God. So therefore you sin against God who made us in His image (Genesis 1:27).
The following passage in 1 Corinthians 6:12-15 from The Message paraphrases the Bible so well. “12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims. 13You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! 14-15God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.” The Message
My fellow brothers/sisters in Christ in order to please and glorify God I submit and demand we can no longer in good conscious disobey God and break His covenants and laws blatantly in the name of personal fulfillment or in thinking we are helping that other person know God. Let me add that sex with another person outside of marriage does not heal our own wounds of past relationships or prepare us to be better lovers in the future.
I end these words to back up my warnings for they are scriptural and are spoken so well in 2 Timothy of why God gave us scripture which in lies His laws and covenants.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16-17
So I ask you this day are you willing to hold each other and ourselves to higher standards, the one’s our God laid out for us? Will you save the gift for your last lover so that your body is as pure for that person as it can be?
Come on just listen to His voice that one that speaking into your heart by ways of guilt or irritations. Quit it before He starts yelling and the gift box becomes tattered and worn.
We call ourselves men and women who love Christ but we fear not the wrath of Him who will judge us. We take His laws and covenants and make a mockery of them my disobeying them. God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift and to protect us from evil. He gave us the 10 commandments because He loves us and new we need rules to keep us safe and closer to him. Covenants, like the laws are to protect us from evil and to make us pleasing to God. We have answered the question "Why we are here?" for it is only and truly only to glorify our Jesus. Yet we take these laws and covenants and break them as we see fit to make ourselves happy. We rationalize our the circumstances that surround our disobedience and justify our breaking of His laws/covenants. How would it go over in a court of law if we explained to the judge that “Judge, I was just speeding 120 mph in a 65 mph zone because it made me happy and felt good.” The Judge would laugh and say “Son, the laws are in place to protect you and the good of all. I don’t care it made you feel good. I find you guilty of breaking the law.” I say to you “is not Jesus going to judge us rightly for those laws and covenants we broke?”
There are two separate judgments outlined in the Bible. We will be judged at the Judgment Seat of Christ (Romans 14:10-12). Every believer will give an account of himself/herself, and the Lord will judge the decisions he/she made—including those concerning issues of conscience. This judgment does not determine salvation, which is by faith alone (Ephesians 2:8-9), but rather is the time when believers must give an account of their lives in service to Christ.
God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift. The gift was given to us for God knew we were lonely and we needed a helper (Genesis 2:18). You and I have taken this gift and have done things with it that has made God very angry. We have defiled and used this gift for our own pleasures and sometimes at the expense of another person’s judgment day. I am referring to having sex outside of marriage. Sex or better put becoming “one flesh”(Mark 10:8) was a sign or an ongoing ratification of the marriage covenant. Nowhere in the bible does it speak to sex as a gift for our enjoyment outside being married. We must avoid all fornication(sex outside of marriage) 1 Corinthians 4:2 and it is the only sin we can do against our own body(1Corinthians 6:18) which is a temple of God. So therefore you sin against God who made us in His image (Genesis 1:27).
The following passage in 1 Corinthians 6:12-15 from The Message paraphrases the Bible so well. “12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims. 13You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! 14-15God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.” The Message
My fellow brothers/sisters in Christ in order to please and glorify God I submit and demand we can no longer in good conscious disobey God and break His covenants and laws blatantly in the name of personal fulfillment or in thinking we are helping that other person know God. Let me add that sex with another person outside of marriage does not heal our own wounds of past relationships or prepare us to be better lovers in the future.
I end these words to back up my warnings for they are scriptural and are spoken so well in 2 Timothy of why God gave us scripture which in lies His laws and covenants.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16-17
So I ask you this day are you willing to hold each other and ourselves to higher standards, the one’s our God laid out for us? Will you save the gift for your last lover so that your body is as pure for that person as it can be?
Come on just listen to His voice that one that speaking into your heart by ways of guilt or irritations. Quit it before He starts yelling and the gift box becomes tattered and worn.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A Heart Which Grows Younger
Jesus calls us to be child like to know the Father.
Matthew 11:25-26
"At that time Jesus said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.'"
This is a beautiful prayer by a young woman who died at the age of 24. The wisdom God imparts to those that free their minds of this world and learn to hear His call.
Pray with me-
Lord give me the open heart of a child,
Let me come trustingly to You not afraid to ask for Your love,
Deliver me from the belief that I am self suficient,
Show my need of You,
Give me the grace to reach out to you,
Give me a child's simplicity and sense of wonder,
May my enthusiasm for you never dim,
Let me hasten to converse with you in the intimacy of prayer,
Give me discernment to realize there is no detail of my life to tiny for Your concern,
Help me to perceive your glory and the helplessness of the cross,
Son of God for my sake took on dependency of childhood,
Help me to accept the readiness of the Fathers grace.
Amen
Saint Theresa of Lisieux
Matthew 11:25-26
"At that time Jesus said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.'"
This is a beautiful prayer by a young woman who died at the age of 24. The wisdom God imparts to those that free their minds of this world and learn to hear His call.
Pray with me-
Lord give me the open heart of a child,
Let me come trustingly to You not afraid to ask for Your love,
Deliver me from the belief that I am self suficient,
Show my need of You,
Give me the grace to reach out to you,
Give me a child's simplicity and sense of wonder,
May my enthusiasm for you never dim,
Let me hasten to converse with you in the intimacy of prayer,
Give me discernment to realize there is no detail of my life to tiny for Your concern,
Help me to perceive your glory and the helplessness of the cross,
Son of God for my sake took on dependency of childhood,
Help me to accept the readiness of the Fathers grace.
Amen
Saint Theresa of Lisieux
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Man+Porn = Woman + Romance Novels
The devastation to men inflicted by pornography is due to our visual nature. Therefore the same destruction is happening for women with the romance novel due to their emotional nature. Porn and Romance novels distort reality and damage true intimacy which is a sin. One is acceptable in culture one is not! FaceBook Post
From JV - not all men are inflicted by pornography, although we are all visual, and not all women are inflicted by romance novels.......distortion is there only if you allow it
October 8 at 11:31am ·
From PP - what the hell are you trying to say?
October 8 at 11:47am
My Reply - We are all inflicted to some level by sexual perversion and lust. I was just pointing out to all the women what they think is harmless may be ruining their ability to be truly intimate with their husband or boyfriend just like porn ruins a man's view of his wife or girlfriend.
October 8 at 12:25pm
My Reply - Not all men I agree! I know it runs rampant in groups of men I know especially with the high school young men. Porn is a huge problem more addictive than alcohol and drugs because it requires nothing of us and cheaper and easier to get and just seconds away. I have stayed away from it and have had to ask people to not send me those type of emails. I would be lying if I didn't partake of it in the past. Start burning those romance novels :)
October 8 at 3:34pm
From SM - MP, my friend, pornography may ruin YOUR view of your wife or girlfriend... but do not generalize in your comments, as pornography itself is harmless, even beneficial if taken in small doses. It may help some to open up to unknown pleasures... It´s the misuse and abuse that is harmful... and that, my friend cannot be generalized.
October 8 at 4:17pm
My Reply - So your logic goes as if to make a little crack or heroine is ok? Porn like any other evil works slowly to own the user! If you said it in Spanish I wouldn't be able to reply which in some cases might be less offensive. One day we must meet again.
Mon at 8:14pm
From JV - not all men are inflicted by pornography, although we are all visual, and not all women are inflicted by romance novels.......distortion is there only if you allow it
October 8 at 11:31am ·
From PP - what the hell are you trying to say?
October 8 at 11:47am
My Reply - We are all inflicted to some level by sexual perversion and lust. I was just pointing out to all the women what they think is harmless may be ruining their ability to be truly intimate with their husband or boyfriend just like porn ruins a man's view of his wife or girlfriend.
October 8 at 12:25pm
My Reply - Not all men I agree! I know it runs rampant in groups of men I know especially with the high school young men. Porn is a huge problem more addictive than alcohol and drugs because it requires nothing of us and cheaper and easier to get and just seconds away. I have stayed away from it and have had to ask people to not send me those type of emails. I would be lying if I didn't partake of it in the past. Start burning those romance novels :)
October 8 at 3:34pm
From SM - MP, my friend, pornography may ruin YOUR view of your wife or girlfriend... but do not generalize in your comments, as pornography itself is harmless, even beneficial if taken in small doses. It may help some to open up to unknown pleasures... It´s the misuse and abuse that is harmful... and that, my friend cannot be generalized.
October 8 at 4:17pm
My Reply - So your logic goes as if to make a little crack or heroine is ok? Porn like any other evil works slowly to own the user! If you said it in Spanish I wouldn't be able to reply which in some cases might be less offensive. One day we must meet again.
Mon at 8:14pm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)