I found this outline of this book online and what a great guide to finding Eve/Adam. I just wish I would have had this when I was in my 20's.
From the book by Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams
1. Thou Shalt Get a Life
Unlife: people who have put their life on hold
a. Desperation
b. Dependence
c. Depression and loneliness
d. Detachment
e. Coping with un-Life: Media-Bation
2. Thou Shalt Use Your Brain
Three Drives of Romantic Love (scary!)
1. Emotion-driven dating
2. Hormone-driven dating3. Spirit-driven dating
A Brain is a terrible thing to Waste
1. Balance the Head and the Heart
2. Refrain from physical intimacy
3. Analyze your past relationships
4. Include others in the process
5. Never neglect opportunities to evaluate
3. Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked
Unequally Yoked Relationships
1. The Missionary Relationship (looking outside the church)
2. The Mother Theresa Relationship (going after broken people)
3. The Exotic Relationship (radically different)
4. The Sugar Daddy Relationship (substantial age difference)
5. The Dennis Rodman Relationship (out of rebellion)
The Equally Yoked Relationship
1. The Spiritual Connection
2. The Physical Connection
3. The Social Connection
4. Thou Shalt Take it Slow
Three reasons:
1. You do not get to know a person in a short period of time.
2. You need time to bond. (1-Scouting Stage, 2-Infatuation Stage, 3-Honeymoon Phase,
4-Reality Bites Stage)3. You protect yourself from getting attached too quickly.
5. Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries
How to Stop people from running over you1. Your body belongs to you2. Your emotions belong to you3. Your thoughts belong to you4. Your actions belong to you
6. Thou Shalt Save Sex for Later
Why so many singles are having sex
1. All you need is a condom
2. You've got to have it
3. Sex equals intimacy
4. If you are in love, it's ok
5. You must sample the goods
6. It's just a physical thing
7. Everybody's doing it
How do you save sex for later?
1. Celebrate wholeness
2. Receive forgiveness
3. Set clear boundaries
4. Stay accountable
7. Thou Shalt Not Play House
The real reason people live together
1. Fear
2. Sex
3. Manipulation
4. Immaturity
8. Thou Shalt Fight Fairly
Top four harmful responses to conflict
1.Peace at all costs (avoidance)
2. Win/lose (Defensiveness)
3. You Don't Count (invalidation)
4. All-Out-War (Intensification)
9. Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs
The seven deadly signs
1. AbuseTypes of abuse
a. Physical abuse (use of size, strength)
b. Verbal abuse (use of words to control)
c. Emotional abuse (use of action/lack of action to control/demean)
d. Sexual abuse (sexual behavior harmful to another)
2. Addictions
3. Infidelity
4. Irresponsibility and immaturity (The Peter Pan)
5. No physical/sexual attraction
6. Emotional baggage
7. Denial
Top five reasons why people ignore red flags
1. It's familiar to them
2. They don't deserve anything better
3. It's better than nothing
4. They have the same problem
5. Fear of the breakup
10. Thou Shalt Choose Wisely
Barriers to discerning true character
1. First-Available syndrome
2. Fooled by the externals
3. Blinded by sex
4. Going too fast
Qualities of character
1. Faithful
2. Honest
3. Committed
4. Forgiving
5. Giving
