Things I don't do enough of

Things I don't do enough of;

-showing my kids how much I love and respect them.

-telling my co-worker how much it means to have them apart of our mission.

-telling my mom and dad how thankful I am for moral support, for how they raised me, for being role models, for being nice people.

-telling my mom how much it means to me that she loves my daughter and shows it all the time.

-offering my friends more of my time.

-praying for God to help me with my flaws

-showing the joy that I have inside.

-telling my sister how gifted and proud I am of her strength and capacity.

-telling everyone how much I enjoyed being married.

-expressing how hard divorce is on me.

-telling how hard being an entrepreneur is everyday.

-playing with my kids.

-giving hugs.

Help me God with these things you so want me to do.

Remodeling Success

I so struggle with the need to be successful although I am feeling less and less compelled to it as I am releasing culture’s pressure to be that way. My kids don’t care they ask for nothing beyond our means and I love them for that beyond what I can show them at their age. When I use the term success to mean doing better than my peers. Making more money have more stuff. As I peel those layers away I very aware of how my needs have changed.

What really matters is I pay my debts for my past materialistic behaviors. Those are debts I have promised to pay and I will make good on them. It would be a scary edgy feeling if I was debt free, owned my own home and car outright what I might be able to do instead I chance more money to repay those debtors. Do I so every regret my past arrogance and belief that I am so good that I can repay that debt anytime. What a burden it has put on me for so many years. It caused so much stress on me that I sometimes kick the cat so to speak.

My father was such a great role model who saved his money and is retired without a financial worry at 60 years old. He is so tight that his flare jeans he received as a gift in the 70’s are still like new in the closet and now are back in style.

Maybe my issue is thinking that I am at this center of this world and everything I do I have control over. When in reality I control nothing. This thin flimsy belief in my abilities is so wrong and so stressful I could just blow up at times and I did when things weren’t perfect. Now I realize my gifts, my God given talents are not about control or money or status or what I own or posses it’s about giving my gifts to others.

I have also realized that giving my gifts is both rewarding and also flat out scary. My success now is about giving my gifts to everyone I meet. I know some will not like the gift but that is not my responsibility. If I give you something it is because I had too. The longer we go without giving our gift the farther from joy we stray.

Xmas Conspiracy! Are you a part of it?

Christmas has just seem all wrong to me for so many years. It just felt like it was about what each of us was going to get or give to one another. Its not like any of us in "cupcake land" need anything that is given to us or our gifts to others is really that meaningful at least thats my take. The time factor alone it takes to think and then acquire these gifts seems like a huge waste time or missed placed energy.

Is Christmas really about giving gifts to friends, family, co-workers or is about the birth of Jesus? Yes, thats right its to celebrate the birth of a baby that change the course of life for all of us.

How can you not be some what perplexed that on December 25 some 2,000 years a child was born that so changed the world you cannot name another moment in history that even comes close to matching the magnitude of life changing event. The material feeding frenzy so ingrained in our culture that most people have no idea what they are celebrating. This way of celebrating highlights our selfish human nature, the need or greed to satisfy ourselves is so immense I doubt that anything apart for the 2nd coming of Christ will every change the direction of our culture. Please take a minute to consider this website's message http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

Join the cause to reclaim Jesus's birthday. Let's give him the same birthday you would give your son or daughter.

This year I pledge to give gifts to my friends and family that not materialistic but memorable. After the New Year I will provide you a list of gifts I gave to everyone.
Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus

Thanksgiving

Today I am thankful for each of my friends for all that you teach, share with me and give of yourselves to our relationship. A true heartfelt thanks for being a part of my life. May you find peace in knowing that being connected to each other matters more than we know.

I’m convinced being generous is a better way to live.

I’m convinced forgiving people and not carrying around bitterness is a better way to live.

I’m convinced having compassion is a better way to live.

I’m convinced pursuing peace in every situation is a better way to live.

I’m convinced listening to the wisdom of others is a better way to live.

I’m convinced being honest with people is a better way to live.

- Rob Bell from his book Velvet Elvis

Cultural Beating

This past week I had realization as to the effect that our culture has on young men. The effect I am referring too is young men's inability to be able to connect, share, and express their fears, worries, joys, pains, loses, and feelings to their friends, parents, girl friends and siblings. What is it in our culture which encourages young men and men in general to suppress these innate human feelings?

I discovered this first hand about 12 years ago when a guy friend of mine told me over the phone he loved me. My first reaction was to say nothing (for years) because no man has every told me he loves me. Further thoughts ran threw my head like only gay men say that to other men. What a sick feeling that is to take a honest communication of love and turn it into a sick feeling. After a few years of my friend telling me that I finally gave in and told him as we hung up the phone I loved him too. What a freeing experience to really know that another man can tell me he loves me and I can do the same.

No wonder most marriages are in difficulty. Culture has bread into men this inability to know how to connect to others and our spouses get the direct effect of this lack of ability to connect emotionally. Women must know this and spend time helping men learn how to connect. Teach us, hold our hands, get us to focus, and reward us for connecting to you.

When it gets down to it all we really have in this physical life is our connection to one another. Heaven is probably a place where our sole lives forever amongst the connections to others for eternity. What a joy it will be to live amongst a realm of love and emotional connection.